put them behind bars.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, hesitantly taking another step. “Please stop looking at me like that, Jade. I’m still me.”
I shake my head, feeling the panic continue to rise. My hand falls down over my mouth, desperately trying to mask my pain. “How can I be in love with a killer? I … I can’t love you like this.”
His face falls as his head drops in shame, looking down at his blood-stained hands. A heavy, broken sigh pulls from deep within him and as he speaks, it’s as though every sound that comes out of his mouth is laced with pain. “Please, baby. No, don’t run. I’m still me. I’ve been dying to hear those words on your lips but I can’t have it like this. I can’t have the only time you tell me you love me followed by that.” He takes another step and I back up again, feeling the backs of my legs hit his bed. “Ocean please. Give me a chance, I’ll explain it all just …”
He reaches for me and I flinch away. “Don’t touch me,” I screech. “You’re just like Nic, just like the Widows. My father. The Wolves. Your father. The whole reason I happily left Breakers Flats was to give myself a new life. I can’t do this again. I can’t keep surrounding myself with death.”
“Ocean, baby …”
Another perfectly round tear falls from my eye and joins the other rolling down my chest. “I can’t do this,” I tell him, feeling the last piece of my soul crumble. My hands weave into my hair and I fist my hands into it, unable to control the overwhelming emotions. “I just … I need some time to think, time to process. You took it too far. That’s not what we do.”
Colton finally closes the gap between us and throws his hands around me, dragging me into his chest. “Please, Ocean,” he begs, holding me tightly with the hands that just took a man’s life. “Just stay. We can sort it out. I swear, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. You’re fucking everything to me.”
I slam my hands against his chest and push hard, forcing him off me and hating the pain that ricochets off me. “Don’t touch me,” I cry, darting away from him and far out of his reach. “I can’t. You killed a man, Colton. You’re a murderer.” I step toward the door, watching as the small fragment of hope in his eyes grows duller by the second. “I just … I can’t. I'm sorry, Colton. I have to go.”
With that, I step out of his room and dart for the fucking stairs, running as the tears cascade down my cheeks.
My mother hates me and now this. When it rains, it fucking pours.
I drag my arm over my already sore eyes as the loud sobs begin. I hit the bottom step and fly across the foyer, needing to be out of this house. Needing the air, and needing clarity. My shoes thump against the marble floor making my every step echo through the massive foyer but the sounds are drowned out by my cries.
I reach the door and just as I tear it open, I look back to find Colton standing at the top of the stairs watching me go with his heart in his hands, completely and utterly shattered. I’ve never seen him look like that and I want nothing more than to run into his arms and tell him that it’s all going to be okay, but it’s not. I don’t know how I’ll ever be okay with this. Why didn’t he hand him over to the cops like he promised? Why did he have to ruin us like that?
I don’t hesitate a second longer and throw myself out of the big front door and the second the cool night air hits my face, I crumble.
My knees give out from under me and I fall to the hard ground with my face dropping into my hands as I cry for everything I’ve lost tonight. My mother is hurting from my betrayal and now Colton is someone that I have to forget.
I always knew he was going to hurt me but I never knew it was going to be like this. I never knew it would hurt so bad.
I hear the familiar sound of the security camera turning to face me and I pick myself up off