so in tune with my body, it’s insane. Instead, he just squeezes my hand, letting me know that he’s here and giving me everything I need.
My mind spins as I try to come to terms with what the fuck just happened.
It’s really over between me and Nic and not just the romantic stuff but the whole relationship. My crew no longer exists. It's just me with a few guy friends who may or may not have my back from time to time. I wonder what they will say when they find out what’s been going down.
They’d want to take my side but their vow to the Widows prevents that and I don’t want to see any of them getting hurt from turning their back on Nic.
I still can’t believe he did it. I haven’t really had a chance to process everything since first finding out. It’s been one thing after another but here in the silence of Colton’s Veneno, it’s all beginning to sink in.
Nic hates me and considers me a traitor now. I honestly don’t know how to feel about that. For so long, Nic and the boys were all I knew. Had I still been living in Breakers Flats and didn’t have the family of friends that I have now, I would have crumbled. That news would have broken me. I don’t know how I would have gone on, but as I turn to look at Colton, I realize that there’s still something that I need to come clean about—even if telling him this might just see him walk away too.
“Are you okay?” he questions, quickly glancing at me as he feels my stare on his stoic face.
I let out a soft breath and drop my eyes to our hands, unable to meet his hazel eyes. “I fucked up,” I whisper, feeling the words struggle to come out.
“I know,” he says, giving my hands a gentle squeeze. “We both did. I shouldn’t have hidden that part of my life from you. I don't want secrets between us, but we’re moving past it. You’ll see, it was a learning curve. We’ll come out the other end stronger. Unbreakable.”
“No,” I say, softly shaking my head. “That's not what I’m talking about, but you're right. There shouldn't be any secrets between us but I’ve been keeping one from you and it’s been making me sick.”
His brows dip and he cuts his sharp gaze away from the road for just a second, just enough time to take in the nerves radiating out of me. “What’s going on, Jade?”
Fear rattles me like never before. It’s one thing risking Nic walking away from me, but to lose Colton? I couldn't handle that. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Babe, you’re really starting to make me worry.”
I suck in a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the worst while knowing that for us to truly move forward, we need to do so with a clean slate. “You know the cameras that Nic had Kairo install in your house?”
I pause and watch as he swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. “What about them?”
Shame takes over me as I realize just how badly I fucked up. I didn’t come clean to Colton about this because I was loyal to Nic. I always had his back despite the many wrongs he’d made against me, but I should have told Colton about this. I should have told him the full story instead of the many half-truths that came out of my mouth.
Had I told him, maybe Colton would have taken the fight to Nic, and maybe I would have saved him from taking Marco’s life despite how much the bastard deserved it. Maybe Colton would have still killed him anyway. After all, Marco wasn’t told to terrorize the staff and he sure as hell wasn’t asked to shove his gun under Maryne’s chin and pull the trigger.
“Do you remember the day I went to Nic’s place to clear the air, the day I found out about the cameras?”
“Yes.”
“There was more to the story. More that I didn’t come clean to you about when I should have.”
“What are you talking about, Jade?” he questions, his voice a little more demanding now that I’m dancing around the topic.
I take a calming breath and will myself the strength to possibly destroy the one good thing I have going for myself. “That day I found out that Nic had seen you and me together for the first time in your room,” I drop