I willing to be part of the sequence of events that leads to the inevitable conclusion? In the end, it won’t be worth it.
Sex and orgasms are never really worth it.
But…he feels like the first thing in a long time that’s for me, that isn’t a response to something or someone else. There’s a purity in our connection. It’s about him and me, and nobody else factors into it.
The truth is, I can’t remember the last time I felt that.
I don’t want to give it up yet.
I let the grass fall from my fingertips and look at him. “So do you want to go visit your mom tomorrow, or not?”
Shadows flicker in his dark blue eyes, across the set of his mouth.
I believe he’s going to say no, so his response surprises me.
He nods. “Sure.”
“It’s settled then.”
“Can we get something to eat after?”
“Sure.”
So that’s it—a step toward him instead of away.
I guess Caden Landry’s not the only one interested in self destruction.
12
Caden
After the graveyard yesterday, Cat and I both retreated.
We’d gone off, done our own thing, and by some mutual, unspoken agreement left each other alone for the rest of the day.
Last night, she texted me that we’d leave at nine in the morning. I said okay, and that was it. I’m not exactly sure why I agreed to go visit my mother with Cat in tow. When I got the job here, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d have to go pay my mom a visit, but I’ve been procrastinating—telling myself I’ll do it as soon as I settle in to a routine. But really, I don’t want to go.
I’m a shit son.
My only excuse is that it’s hard to spend time with a mother who doesn’t know who you are. The only living person I have a blood connection to thinks I’m a stranger. The last time I went to see her, she thought I was a thief, trying to steal her belongings. She got hysterical, screaming for someone to come help her, asking for the police to have me arrested.
No matter how hard they tried to calm her down, nothing worked until I left the room. I’d stood on the side of the wall, listening in the doorway to the nurses’ attempts to soothe her. Once I’d gone, she was happy.
I haven’t gone back.
I’m not sure why I’m agreeing to have Cat witness what’s sure to be a horrible situation. It’d be easier to go alone, but here I am.
I dig my keys out of my jeans and lock the door to the cabin before turning around. Cat’s already there. She’s pulled down the tailgate of the truck bed and is sitting cross legged, drinking from a travel coffee mug and staring into the blue sky.
In the sunlight, her hair is shot with strands of gold, mixing with the richness. It’s down today, a tumble around her shoulders. She’s wearing a pink sleeveless top and faded jeans.
She looks fresh, pretty, and very fuckable.
She spots me, and a smile that about knocks me on my ass flashes across her lips. “I thought you’d pussy out.”
I come to stand in front of her, and since she’s sitting down, I loom over her. “I don’t pussy out.”
“Course you do. Everyone knows men are the weaker sex.”
I chuckle and raise a brow. “It’s gonna be one of those days, huh?”
Her head tilts, sending her hair over her shoulder to curve at the top of her breast. “One of what days?”
“When you’re all sassy and want to bait me.” I step a little closer, and my shadow casts her in dim gray. “Almost like you’re angling for a spanking.”
Instead of catching her breath or flushing, she rolls her eyes. “Give me a break.”
I laugh.
She shakes her head. “That’s just my personality.”
“Is it?”
“Yep.” She picks up another travel mug from the flatbed. “Coffee?”
When I take it from her, I get that little jolt of electricity that lets me know sex between us will be explosive if we get that far. “Thanks, honey.”
She grabs the handles of a cloth bag. “I brought snacks, and Jackson made bread, so I snagged it. You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I jangle my keys, not sure if I’m looking forward to this or not. We slide into the seats, and the engine catches a bit at the start before roaring to life.
With nothing else to do, no way to forestall the inevitable, I pull out of the spot and start the trek