to her composure.
“You’re doing the right thing stepping up for her, and it’ll matter to her that you came running when she needed you.”
“Keep telling me that, okay?”
“As many times as you need to hear it.”
Over the next few hours, she repeatedly needed to hear it as they faced traffic delays and a monsoon-like rainstorm that turned a drive of two hours and forty-five minutes into nearly four hours of hell. They received frequent text updates on Amanda’s phone from Lucy about Cameron’s condition. The last report had been that she was hoping to be able to push soon.
Amanda’s nerves were shredded by the time they reached the hospital and parked. It was nearly eight o’clock by then, and even though she’d been in constant contact with Stella during the ride, she was still as stressed out as she’d ever been.
“Are you ready for this?” Landon asked.
“No,” she said, sounding slightly hysterical, even to her own ears. “Not even kinda.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
―Edna St. Vincent Millay
Landon covered her cold hand with his warm one, infusing her with heat and confidence she badly needed. “It’s going to be fine, Amanda. You’ve already met by FaceTime. This is just a formality.”
She nodded. “Thank you again for being here. I’m not sure I could’ve done this by myself.”
“Yes, you could have if you had to. No question. Nothing could’ve kept you from her when she needed you. But I’m glad I could be here.”
Amanda glanced at the hospital entrance, steeling herself to give Stella the support she needed. This was about Stella, not her. Sure, keep telling yourself that. She sent Stella a text to let her know they’d arrived and were on the way in. “Let’s go.”
They got out of the car, went in through the main entrance and followed the signs to the elevators. The doors opened on the sixth floor, and there she was, waiting for them. Like they’d known each other forever, Stella stepped into Amanda’s outstretched arms and held on for dear life.
Despite the circumstances and the location, it would go down as one of the best moments of Amanda’s life. Stella fit snuggly in her arms, her head tucked under Amanda’s chin. Her hair smelled of strawberries and cookies and sweetness. Amanda breathed her in, feeling the agitation she’d lived with for twelve long years finally settle.
“Thank you so much for coming.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“Somehow I doubt that, but I’m thankful anyway.”
Amanda reluctantly released her. “This is Landon.” She watched as he hugged Stella, too.
“It’s so good to see you in person,” he said.
“You, too.”
“How’s your mom?” Amanda asked, even though she already knew from Stella’s updates that her condition was grave.
“Not so great.” Stella looked up at her, green eyes swimming with tears. “Do you know what hospice is?”
“I do,” she said, her heart sinking. “Are they recommending that for her?”
Stella nodded. “They said she doesn’t have a lot of time left.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
“We knew this was coming, but still…” Stella shrugged. “It sucks.”
“Yes, it does.” Amanda hugged her again because she could, and because Stella needed all the love she could get right then.
“She’d like to see you if you’re up for that.”
“Of course.” Amanda was scared and unnerved but determined to step up for Stella—and for Kelly. Whatever they needed, she’d do her best to get it for them.
With her arm linked through Amanda’s, as if she was afraid Amanda might somehow escape, Stella led them into Kelly’s darkened room.
“Mom,” she whispered. “Amanda and Landon are here.”
Kelly opened her eyes and looked up at them, relief etched into her expression. “Thank you so much for coming,” she whispered.
Amanda took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m here for as long as you guys need me. Just rest and don’t worry about anything.”
When Kelly closed her eyes, tears leaked out the sides.
Stella grabbed a tissue and wiped them away. “She was really worried about what would happen to me,” she said softly.
Amanda put her hands on Stella’s shoulders. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Waiting was hell, Will decided as his wife writhed in pain with each new contraction. She’d be getting an epidural shortly, and he couldn’t wait for her to get some relief. It was absolutely terrifying to watch her go through this, knowing how childbirth had ended