"Music first, then dining." I set the tray on the table and unveil what's underneath—a few standard containers, all of them bottoms-up. I immediately start to drum out a beat, using my hands. I lift my head and let out a ululating wail, starting into an old Sakh rhyme that we're taught back in our boyhood days. It's a combination that never failed to make Zoey erupt into fits of laughter when she was young, because it sounds so outlandish to human ears. I figure Jade will get a kick out of it, too.
So I beat the drums. Close my eyes and wail some more. Drum. Wail. Drum. Wail.
And as I finish the wailing first verse of the rhyme, I notice that Jade isn't laughing. She's utterly silent. I squeeze one eye open and she's frozen across from me, a tumbler of water half-raised to her lips. Her eyes are wide and startled.
I immediately stop drumming. "You didn't like it."
Her eyes go even wider, which I didn't think was possible. She puts her glass down and leans over to touch my hand. "No, no, not at all, Adiron! That was lovely! It was just…wow…" She pauses, blinking. "It was…"
"A joke," I cut in. "It was a joke."
Realization dawns on her and she slaps my arm. "You son of a bitch! I thought that was real!"
I laugh.
She buries her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent amusement. "I hate you," she eventually wheezes, and her tone makes it very clear that she does not, in fact, hate me.
"If it makes you feel any better, it's a really old song from where I come from, and it always made my sister Zoey crack up." I love her reaction, how her face lights up with amusement, and how she laughs so hard that her eyes get wet. Kef me, I love a woman that knows how to laugh. Jade does it magnificently, too. Her tits jiggle in that low neckline of hers, enticing me with that dusky brown cleavage that's just begging to be caressed. She's seated now, but earlier I got a great glimpse of curvy, dainty legs and her ample backside outlined in that dress she's wearing. It makes me want to flip that hem up and touch her.
I wonder if it'd be too forward of me to ask her to sit on my plate and be my dinner? Probably.
Jade's mirth fades, and she leans back, laughing and breathless, her hand on her stomach. "I haven't laughed so hard in forever."
"Well, this evening is just getting started," I tell her, encouraged. "Now that the entertainment portion is over, shall we commence with the food?"
"I can hardly wait," she teases, her smile bright.
I'm absolutely dazzled by that smile. I want to just bask in the warmth of it, but it's my duty to entertain (and hopefully woo) her. I head over to the two bowls I've prepared, the contents covered by a warming lid. I pretend to be one of the snotty waiters that were always in Zoey's vids, and hold the tray out to Jade. "The finest military-grade noodles for you, female," I say in a severe voice, bowing over the food.
Jade erupts into new laughter, clapping her hands. "You're such a liar! I thought you were going to give me something new to eat!"
"Well, it's a bit of new and old." I take the lid off the bowl and set it before her. The noodles are bright red, which makes her give me a look of mild alarm. "It's the same old noodles, but a special recipe." I set my own bowl down in front of my seat. "Let's just say that it's a couple of ingredients, that when mixed together, cause a flavor combination that was much beloved by my human sister." I'm personally not a fan of it, but I'd chew on a boot all night long if it meant I could stare at Jade while doing so.
She twirls a noodle onto her eating sticks and takes a hesitant bite. After a moment, her expression changes to one of wonder. "Cheese pizza. It tastes like cheese pizza."
I grin. "Yeah."
"That's amazing," Jade cries, and takes a larger bite, leaning over her bowl to slurp up the noodles. "How did you do this? Can we have this every night?"
"Like I said, it's a couple of spices that, ah, aren't normally combined together. And no, you can't have it often, I'm afraid." I grimace. "In fact, I don't even