sensed even then I could never resist you and here we are.”
“Yes, here we are,” he repeated. His hand touched her arm and he rubbed her bicep up and down. “I’m nervous.”
“Me too. But we’ve done this before. We’re true champions at this.”
“We didn’t know though before.”
“Right,” Jody agreed as she glanced at her feet.
“Does it change anything? How you look at me? Does it change me somehow? Be honest.”
She slid her gaze up to his legs, jutting penis, six-pack abdomen and wide, strong chest and shoulders. “Yes,” she whispered softly. “But not like you mean. I am fully conscious that we can’t exchange body fluids. But I also want to do this more than before because now I know that I love you too.”
“I feel tarnished,” Ross admitted softly as if he were addressing his feet.
She lifted her hand to his. “No, never. Not with me. You can never be tarnished with me.”
He squeezed her hand in his and raised it to his mouth before kissing her softly. “If I could go back and undo my history, knowing I would meet you someday, I would have never had sex with anyone else. I’d have waited however long it took for you. It would be so worth it to not think about risking your life every time we have sex.”
“I still don’t blame you. You know that. My own sexual history has its flaws. The chances are slim as long as we know what to do and we do it. It will be okay. Your life will be as healthy and as long as mine.” She squeezed his hand.
“I wish I loved you enough to leave you so you could find someone else.”
“So you couldn’t give HIV to me, I assume?”
“Yes, that’s the only reason I would give you up.”
She scoffed. “Except I don’t want to find anyone else. Ever. So it’s up to you and me to be careful and take care of ourselves. It’s an us issue, okay? Not just you anymore. And again, I’d expect the same from you.”
“I would do anything for you.”
“I know. But this isn’t such a horrible burden. I love to have sex with you.”
He smiled and the hope she saw in his face made her heart lurch. “I love to have sex with you too. Saying that you still feel that way? You are beyond incredible.”
“I’m your girlfriend and therefore, the one you have sex with.”
“Usually. But these are unusual circumstances.”
She reached up and gripped both his forearms, tugging him toward her. “They are for us, Ross. From now on, this is our reality. So we will figure it out until it becomes normal and then it won’t be scary. We just know something that we didn’t before. We were always safe. Always.”
“Because of your insistence. You were protecting yourself, not me.”
“You can protect me now. From now forward.”
He let out a shuddering breath. “From now forward.”
“For all things.”
“All things.”
“Including sex. So please… why don’t we start with a long, wonderful kiss that will remind you, Ross Karahan, that you already know exactly how to do it.” She grinned and he finally responded as his mouth descended and touched hers, instantly banishing all the doubts, fears and worries until they were just being themselves again.
Touching. Loving. Kissing. Ross and Jody. Their souls and their bodies bared. His hands came up with a soft, gentle touch on her shoulders. It was almost chaste. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his back, pushing him deep inside her fully and hard.
As their kiss grew more arduous and fuller, their tongues dipped and tangoed until he suddenly shifted. He lifted her, tucking his arms under her knees and supporting her neck. Seconds later, he delicately placed her on the bed like the most dainty, precious sculpture of feathers that could not be jostled or harmed. As he stared down from above, his gaze was loving, reverent and piercing before his lips touched her mouth. He kissed her neck and slid downwards and she combed her fingers through his hair, smiling as all her fears dissolved.
It was Ross.
Ross was preparing to make love to her. Always Ross.
In case Ross didn’t remember exactly how to do that, she whispered into his ear as she licked the outer shell. He was buried deep inside her body, and with a gentle and reverent tone, Jody said, “Fuck me, Ross. Hard. Please…”
Jerking his head back, Ross laughed. Nodding, he knew exactly how to do this.
What ensued was hard and