and climb above me. Our legs scissor together and I realize that I have never laid with anyone else like this. Right away I kiss him deeper and clutch at him, hoping that this rebound—or whatever this is—with Josh will chase away the hurt. Blasting right through first and second base is definitely not something I’d even consider normally but Josh is proving to be an excellent distraction and I am desperate to forget. Sy and Brooklyn are probably hooking up right this minute. Josh flicks the button of my jeans and rolls the zipper down. Before I can think about how slutty I am being right now, I lift my butt and he drags my jeans and panties down my legs. He licks his lips then leans forward again, tugging my work polo over my head, which is quickly followed by my boring white cotton bra. His mouth lands back on mine heavily, our teeth clicking with contact. His tongue still tastes of the whiskey he’d stolen from his mom’s stash and I’m not wild about it, but it’s not terrible either, just different. Of course everything about him is different to me.
He’s not Sy.
My subconscious scolds me as though I’m about to cheat on the only person I’ve ever been in love with. But that’s bullshit and unfair. I bet Brooklyn has already thoroughly enjoyed Sylas by now. The bitch would strip naked and seduce him without a second thought. My awareness snaps back to Josh just as he tugs his jeans open and shoves them down his thighs but doesn’t bother to take them off completely.
Am I doing this?
His middle finger slips into my heat and curls forward. A devilish smile spreads over his lips and his eyelids grow heavier with lust and alcohol. He’s hot and god his fingers feel amazing. Feels so much better than the hurt in my chest. I screw my eyes shut and roll my hips forward meeting every plunge of his finger into my body.
“That’s it darlin’,” he coos in his raspy voice. His finger slips out and my eyes lazily open to spot him reaching for his nightstand. He gulps the whiskey in one shot, which seems like way too much for any one person, but I wouldn’t really know a thing about it. He tugs the drawer open and fumbles with the contents for a moment then produces a condom.
I’m doing this. To hell with Brooklyn and Sy. They can have each other.
Josh rips the foil open and covers his length like he’s had plenty of practice and that makes me feel a little dirty but who am I to judge? I’m about to have sex with a guy I don’t even really know and quite frankly he’s handsome and older than me so of course he’s had his fair share of girls. Josh leans forward roughly working his lips over my nipples one and then the other. I squirm against him, seeking contact. His lips seal around one nipple and he sucks hard then abruptly releases it with a wet pop. The scent of whiskey on his breath is stronger than it was before and I hate that it’s distracting me. I reach for him wanting sex to make me forget the whiskey and the guy that has me all out of sorts. Josh angles his hips between my legs and without a second guess, enters me with one rough thrust. I shiver against his invasion. He rocks forward, driving into me fully then immediately pulls back to drive forward again. Sylas doesn’t do it this way. He’s never this rough. Always tender. I peek up at him and see his eyes nearly black with dilated pupils; his breath is heavy and humid with whiskey. He huffs with effort as he takes my body and it all feels so terribly wrong. He isn’t Sylas and suddenly I feel so stupid for letting Josh replace Sylas in this way. I don’t want my memories of Sylas against my body glazed over by a sweaty stranger who has had too much to drink.
“Josh,” I whisper but lost in his efforts and probably a serious buzz he hasn’t heard me. “Josh,” I repeat louder this time with my palms lightly pressed against his chest. To my shock he still doesn’t acknowledge me. “Josh, I can’t. Stop,” I say loud and clear clutching his shoulders firmly. Sweat beads on his brow as he drives on, invading my body with his. Disbelief makes