I know Sylas, he hasn’t missed the wobble in my voice.
“You know, this whole time, I’ve been trying to prove to you we still have something special—something worth giving a chance to grow. Been trying to figure out how to work things out. I’ve been doing my best to make you feel comfortable enough to say whatever it is that’s been going through that mind of your but I’ve been spinning my wheels haven’t I?”
“Sylas,” I start, measuredly. “While I agree we have crazy chemistry—we always have—and what we share in the bedroom is something I won’t soon forget, you have to see that there is no future for us. Only a past.” At that, he reels back a step.
“That’s your assessment of where I stand in this race, Miss High and Mighty political strategist?”
“It is. I’m sorry Sylas but if you thought something would come of this, then I’m afraid you misread me and the situation.”
“Yeah well that’s a first for me. Been figurin’ you out all my life but I guess I’ve gotten a little rusty,” he muses sarcastically.
Not even close.
“So what’s your answer, Rae?”
“Stop it,” I attempt. “I just explained—”
“Answer me. If you have the balls to ditch me again, you’re going to have to give me the courtesy of saying so to my face. What’s your answer?” he demands, a muscle in his jaw twitching with emotion.
“It’s not you. And maybe if my life were different… It’s just that—”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to placate me with some bullshit about how your life is in DC and how we’re so different now and all that other horse shit.”
“Am I wrong though?” I ask with my hands on my hips, Sy regards me with those keen eyes of his.
“Rae, baby, listen to me,” he pleads, his voice rough. “I’m yours and you’re mine, so go ahead and tell me what it is that’s keeping us apart because I know it isn’t fucking square mileage from here to DC. Why won’t you just unknot your panties and get over whatever has you all messed up so we can be together,” he says harshly and I bristle.
“This is the part where I remind you that all women have their secrets and contrary to what your giant ego has convinced you of, you aren’t privy to all my secrets, Sylas.”
“Oh yes I am. You’ve always been my book to read Rae. Every line, every word.”
“Not this chapter,” I snap, mustering every ounce of willpower I have to keep my hands from fidgeting.
“You just keep on trying to convince yourself of that and let me know how it works out for you. Because I’ll be the first to tell you, there’s no forgettin’ us. I tried. You can spend the rest of your life making yourself miserable trying to forget but you’ll no sooner forget what we had than you’ll live long enough to see the sun burn out and the stars fall. It ain’t happening in this lifetime, Rae.”
I know.
“Give it up,” he coaxes with his palm outstretched my way. “Please.”
I wish I could.
“If we’re done here…” I mumble as I turn on my heel before he catches sight of the tears pooling behind my sunglasses.
“Nah, nah, nah! I still want your fuckin’ answer,” he says snagging my elbow and whirling me in place. “Are you going to honor the pact—will you move past all the bullshit and finally be my wife?”
“Sy—”
“Yes or no,” he demands though I know, and he knows my answer. It doesn’t matter to him. He wants to make me say the words, and it hurts like hell.
“No,” I say the ugly word that is so small but so weighty in my mouth.
“Fine but I’m making you a promise right now, if you wanna walk—if you’re stepping out of my life again, don’t bother waltzing back into town thinking I’ll be around next time. I lost you before, I’m about to lose you again,” he pauses sucking in a shaky breath, “I can’t take it again, Rae.”
“You aren’t losing me, Sy. We’re still fr—”
“Friends?” he barks with his eyebrows raised high, nearly touching his hairline. I cross my arms over my chest and study his face. “You honestly think I want to be your friend, Rae? I just asked you to be my wife, not my fucking friend. Being your friend was never enough when we were kids and it damn sure isn’t enough now, so don’t insult me.” He turns on his heel kicking at