problem. You can’t let go because you’re scared you’re the one who’s going to end up alone this time.”
She was wrong.
I fucking hated her.
I loathed her.
I wished she’d disappear and never look back.
But I could never let go of the idea that, deep down, my sister was still inside the broken shell of this woman.
Alone.
Scared.
And waiting to be found again.
If there was even a glimmer of hope that she was still in there, I would never give up on her.
Swallowing hard, I pulled myself together. “You’re so wrong you can’t even see right anymore. I’m not afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of losing you. My sister. My best friend. My family. I have spent the better part of my life trying to hold on to you. I’ve been fighting for you, even after you made it clear you’d given up. I gave you money. I bought you a house. A car.” I threw my hands out to my sides, allowing them to slap my thighs as they came down. “I started an entire company with the hopes that it would bring us closer again.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “Yes, you did all of those wonderful things that only a perfect loving sister would do. And then you cut off my bank cards, guilt-tripped me into rehab, sold my car, kicked me out of the house, and fired me. So…”
“You were slowly killing yourself. What did you expect me to do?”
“Let me!” she roared. “Just fucking let me go!”
“You promised me!” I yelled back, my scream so loud that it rattled the windows.
Her mouth clamped shut, the surprise of my outburst momentarily stunning her into silence.
And I pounced. With a long stride forward, I closed the distance between us and stabbed a finger at her chest. “When Grandpa died, you held my hand and promised me that you’d never leave. You swore to me that you’d live forever if you had to so I’d never have to bury anyone else. You sat on that pew beside me and told me that we were two halves to one soul. Wherever I went, you’d be there too.” My voice cracked as I forced it through the emotion. I had no idea if I was getting through the cloud of drugs in her system. Worse, I had no idea if she even cared anymore. But, dammit, I had to try. “Where is that woman, Hadley? Just tell me where she is and I will walk through hell to find her.”
It was slight at first, the tiniest chin quiver ever witnessed. But my heart soared knowing she was still in there.
I took her hand in both of mine and brought it up to rest on my chest. “It’s me and you, Hadley. It’s always been me and you. I’m here. Be here with me. I’m begging you. Just be here with me.”
I was damn near euphoric as I watched it happen. Her tough exterior crumbling to reveal that familiar broken and scared little girl was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
My sister was still in there, lost in addiction, stolen by an obsession, and shattered by a gruesome past that owned us both.
But she was in there. Therefore, I was there too.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I should have told you about Keira. I should have…” She didn’t finish the thought before pulling me into a hug.
Hadley gave the best hugs. They were just like our mother’s—so warm and soothing, like the perfect cocoon of assurance.
“I didn’t know what to do with a baby,” she confessed. “It was a really…dark time.”
I returned her embrace, hoping it was even a fraction as good as hers. “I know I’m a nosy little brat and read all your journals.” We both half laughed and half sobbed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I can’t imagine how scared you had to be when you were in labor. I should have been there.”
She loosened her hold on me and leaned away to capture my gaze. “Stop. You didn’t know.”
“I feel like—”
“No. Please. I don’t want to talk about this right now. Let me sober up. Let’s order some food and then maybe watch a movie? You finally watch TV now, right?”
I laughed sadly. “You’d be so proud. I ordered Netflix and everything.”
“Gasp!” she said with a teasing half smile. “You rebel.”
I smiled back at her. “We’re going to figure this out. Okay? No matter what it takes. We’re going to figure this out.”
“Okay.” She