me a side-eye. “Bullshit.”
“You have feathers for my parents on your arm,” I choked out. But what I really wanted to say was, You have a feather on your arm for me.
“I wish I didn’t,” he confessed with a heartbreaking regret that wasn’t even his to own.
“I wish that too.”
“You should hate me, ya know,” he murmured, nuzzling me with the scruff on his cheek.
“No more than you should hate me.”
His forehead crinkled as he screwed his eyes shut. “It’s not the same.”
Wrapping my hand around his tattoo, I lifted his arm and hugged it against his chest. “What if we let all the elephants go? The whole damn herd. What if we just become two strangers? What if you just fall in love with your daughter’s art teacher?”
His eyes flashed open. I hadn’t meant to say love. We weren’t even really dating. But as much as I wanted to take it back, as much as I knew it was an impossibility, we were wishing—and that was my greatest wish of all.
He kissed me. Slow and sad. It was moments like these where he was that teenage boy again, lost in emotion and remorse, bearing the crushing burden of a sociopath he couldn’t control.
And I was lost in a little girl’s fairytale where they all live happily ever after.
I remained in his arms for over two hours.
Part of that time, we talked.
Part of it, we kissed.
Part of it, we sat there allowing the silence to say more than we ever could.
As I cuddled in close, listening to the staccato of his heart—the very pulse he had risked in order to keep me safe—I came to the realization that I couldn’t keep lying to him.
I couldn’t tell him his guardian angel was dead.
I couldn’t hurt him more than Malcom already had.
But I had no idea how I would ever tell him the truth.
CAVEN
“Are you allowed to take things out of Hadley’s purse?”
“No,” Rosalee replied sheepishly, refusing to make eye contact with either of us.
“Go wash your face, brush your teeth, and then get in bed. No TV tonight.”
Her head popped up. “That’s not fair!”
I waved my hand out to the lipstick handprints smeared on the bathroom wall. “Need I say more.”
“Fine,” she muttered.
“Don’t you fine me,” I scolded as she marched up the stairs. “And hold onto the rail!”
She snaked a hand out to catch the wooden railing while huffing, “Fiiiiiine.”
I wasn’t going to make it through the teenage years. No ifs about it.
I looked at Hadley. She had her hand over her mouth, hiding what was no doubt an epic grin.
It had been three weeks since Hadley had scammed me into buying her painting.
And, well, three weeks since I’d scammed Hadley into spending every Monday night with me.
We’d yet to have sex again. She’d made it clear that she wanted to slow things down. I understood—hated it, but understood it nonetheless.
We were learning to be friends. Something I never would have dreamed possible only months earlier. But I had to admit: She made it easy.
Well, as easy as it could be when kinda-sorta, not-really falling in love with the mother of your child.
The one your child didn’t yet know was her mother.
And the very same one that was probably going to file for at the very least partial custody in two months when our supervised visitation agreement expired.
Yeah. Nothing about that was easy.
However, denial was a hell of a drug.
“What are you laughing at? That was your lipstick she ruined.”
She moved her hand. And… Yep. Epic smile. “I can buy new lipstick. The look on your face is priceless.”
“The last time she colored on the wall, I had to have the entire hallway repainted because the guy couldn’t match the color.”
She curled her lip. “It’s masking-tape beige. How hard could it be to match that?”
I scowled and that epic smile of hers somehow stretched. I fought the urge to kiss it off her damn face, but with Rosalee awake and upstairs, my lips were required to stay on their own face for a while longer.
We’d been doing our best to keep our…whatever the fuck was happening between us a secret from Rosalee. She’d more than likely still caught the occasional eye-fuck exchange, but without preschool Love Expert Jacob to explain it to her, I felt we were reasonably safe that she wouldn’t catch on to the rest of… Shit, maybe I needed Jacob to explain to me what was happening.
I was addicted to Hadley and the absolute comfort she provided