parents.” I groaned when I shook my head again. “West, you know I love you. I do. And I know you have been through so much. You’re in pain. There’ll be a lot of healing ahead. But… and I’m going to be honest here, that man out there can help you. If you let him.”
“No!” I choked.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He ran a hand over my head gently. “It’s okay. We’ll sort it out. It’s all right.”
It wasn’t.
Adrik was…. “He needs someone better.” I pushed my hand harder onto my leaking eyes. “I’m not for him. I’m weak, dirty. I’m—” An anguished sob swept out of me.
“West,” Lucas cried. “No, no, no. You are beautiful, amazing, and strong. Do not let them win.”
They hadn’t won. What they said didn’t affect me. But their actions, what they did, had. I was scarred, damaged, no good. They had ruined me for him, for anyone.
The image of them burning the cross onto me pushed forward. It was so vivid I could almost smell my skin as it sizzled under the heat of the metal. I gagged, coughed, and fought for a breath.
“Breathe, West, breathe with me.” Lucas’s voice penetrated the memory.
A violent quiver raked over me as I sucked in the air and slumped from my elbows to lie flat on the bed.
“That’s good. Breathe.”
“Lucas,” I heard.
I stilled, paling. My fingers gripped the sheets under me.
I watched Lucas’s wide gaze turn to the doorway. “Yes?”
“Please get West a drink and some food,” Adrik said.
Lucas flashed his gaze back to me and then to the door. “Um….” He straightened.
No. Don’t leave me. Don’t let him stay. I wanted to yell it, scream it, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to open my mouth.
“Okay?” He didn’t look back to me before he rushed from the room, or he would have seen me pleading with my eyes.
I heard the door close and then soft footsteps. Once Adrik was beside the bed, he sat in the armchair. I took him in. He looked… well, exhausted. Stubble covered his cheeks, chin, and above his upper lip. His hair was wild, his clothes wrinkled. Nothing like I’d seen him before.
Wiping at my eyes, I blanked my expression even when inside me all I wanted was to cry more, to scream, plead for him to leave… and yet, I still wanted to slip into his arms and have him hold me for the rest of my life.
But I couldn’t.
He sat on the edge of the seat and rested his forearms on the bed, bringing himself closer. “There are things I have to tell you.”
My broken heart skipped a beat. “What?” I whispered, and all other thoughts evaporated because he sounded so serious.
His gaze roamed over my face. “My last name is not Hail. It is Mikhaillova.” He paused as if he waited for a reaction, but it meant nothing to me. His gaze dropped to his clasped hands. “My family sees over many people in Russia. My father is in charge of the mafia there.”
My eyes widened.
Adrik nodded when he took in my reaction. “Da, I was a part of the mafia, but I longed for something more. It is why I moved here. I cut ties with the family business, but not my family. I would do anything for them.” His head cocked to the side, studying me. “Even though I am not part of what I left behind, there will always be a risk. Although we take many precautions that it will not touch my life now. It is the same when my parents visit.”
He stopped, and I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say. Did he think it scared me knowing his family was in the mafia? It didn’t. I was shocked but not scared. How could I be when my life already consisted of men in a motorcycle club who were ruthless in their own way. Besides, that was in Russia; it wasn’t here. He’d cut ties with that side of things, that was what he said, and I believed him. I knew Adrik wouldn’t have been accepted as a client by Polished if he was into shady things.
“Okay,” I offered, not knowing what else to say.
A small smile touched his lips as he breathed out a light chuckle. It faded too soon, and he sobered with a frown. “There is something else.”
“What?” I asked, my stomach knotting with tension.
He closed his eyes, jaw clenching. He pushed off the bed and leaned back in