it up.”
I nodded, taking my gaze out the side window. Lost in thought. Lost in what I would do. My heart called for me to stay, keep at it, then at least I would get to see him. My mind was a different story. It shouted at me to stop my stupidity and get my ass into gear by ending this. So, maybe it was time to listen to my mind to save my heart. It was probably a good idea to cancel our appointments before my feelings grew into something more. All I had at the moment was a mild crush—yes, I would keep telling myself that—and attraction.
“West!” Death called a little harshly, making me think he’d been trying to get my attention for a while.
“Sorry, lost in the clouds. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were all right?”
I huffed a laugh. “I’m fine.”
Death made a noise in the back of his throat. He didn’t buy my bullshit, but I couldn’t tell him I was catching feelings for a client.
“How was your night?” Death asked.
He never asked.
I shrugged. “Good. It was the first time I’ve been in a casino. Never had time before.”
“The client seemed to take a liking to you.”
I forced a laugh. “Don’t they all.” Every client I’d had so far wanted more time with me. Which was good for the pocket.
“Mr. Hail…. Never mind.”
“What?” I asked.
Death shrugged. “Was just gonna comment that Mr. Hail brings you out of your shell more than the others.”
I tensed. “What do you mean by that?”
“Just that with the other clients, you act polite and sweet and shit, but you’re more yourself around that guy we just left.”
Huh, I’d never noticed before. Could it be true? I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“I’d never seen you with him before, but I have the others since they take you out. Just looked different to me, but I could be wrong.”
He was. He had to be. I wouldn’t let my walls down that much around a client.
Fuck me, who was I kidding? Only myself, apparently. With the other clients, I stuck with a story of Ben. I didn’t tell them about myself, my real life. Death was right, damn it. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.
Again, it told me I was in too deep with Adrik. I’d gotten feelings attached to the job. What hurt the most was that if I did choose to not see Adrik again, he wouldn’t know why. He wouldn’t know it was because of me and that my decision had nothing to do with him. Could I tell him? No, I didn’t think it would be wise. He’d only see I was weak. Adrik was the type of man who needed someone strong to stand by his side, and me? I was running. Running because I couldn’t do one job right and not get attached to a client.
If I did run.
I really needed to talk to Kylo. Maybe he was in the same position I was in with a client. I hoped so. I wouldn’t feel like such a dickhead.
A thought flew into my mind.
“Death?”
“Yeah?”
“When a client books in someone and pays, what does the company show on the record?”
“A computer technician company.”
Huh. It looked like Adrik’s transactions were hidden if anyone looked into him. Which would be good for a person who didn’t want people to know he was gay… or into guys as well as girls. I wasn’t sure which category Adrik fell into; we never went into it. Of course, my new train of thought took me to a place where I could justify my choice of ending things. If I did. It could also mean Adrik didn’t want a real relationship with a man. Eventually, he would settle with a woman to keep the image of a straight, obviously loaded businessman. Hell, he could own more than just the casinos, and if he wanted to expand, it was no secret gay people were still treated as pariahs, which no doubt would be more challenging when it came to business. Shit, even my parents frowned upon homosexuality because of their interpretation of religion.
It didn’t matter that He, my god, loved me for who I was, not who I took to bed. Not that I could ever tell them that.
Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned back into the seat. A headache pounded at me. I was thinking too much, but my mind was just a ball of