envelope addressed to her in Ivan’s handwriting. Picking it up, she feared Ivan’s last words to her and the level of hurt she’d endure reading anything he’d written to her. But she slid her finger beneath the seam and pulled out a piece of white paper.
Dear Katie Ann,
I hope that this letter finds you well. I wanted to talk to you in person and hope to do so soon, but the distance between us, both physically and emotionally, has made me choose to write you this letter instead.
I know you’re pregnant, and my heart jumps with joy about this.
She gasped as she slapped a hand to her chest, clamping her eyes shut. She took a deep breath and went on.
In a community our size, I was bound to find out that you are with child, but I can understand why you would be fearful about telling me, scared I would return out of obligation. I know you so well. But before I found out this news, I was already praying that we could find our way back to each other. I think of you, dream of you, and my regrets are many.
My heart longs to be with you . . . and our child. I want us to be a family again.
Katie Ann sobbed so hard, she was having trouble reading. She dabbed at her eyes and went on.
I hired help to build a house outside of Bird-in-Hand, and it is my dream for you and our child to live there with me, if you can ever find a way to forgive me. I have shamed you, shamed myself, and shamed God.
Please, Katie Ann. I want to make things right for you . . . and the baby. I have always loved you and continue to love you.
In His name,
Your husband, Ivan
She put her head down on the desk and cried until she was sure there were no more tears. Lucy’s words hung in the air like a thick fog that was choking her. “I always wondered if he was going back to you.”
“How could you do this to me, Ivan!” she cried when she finally raised her head. Dangling the letter by her side, she got up and walked to what might have been Jonas’s room. She leaned against the wall, but the gravity of this news caused her to slide down until she was sitting on the cold wooden floors. She looked around the room and realized that she hadn’t noticed until now—no electrical outlets or lighting fixtures.
She stayed on the floor for the next hour, her legs extended in front of her, the letter in her lap. In a daze, she tried to sort out feelings that had nothing to do with Eli, yet it was his face that kept flashing into her mind.
What would she have done if Ivan hadn’t died? Would she have received this letter months ago and reunited with him? Would she be living in this house now? A house he’d built for her—behind Lucy’s back.
She thought about Lucy and Benjamin. Would Ivan still have left Lucy once he found out that Lucy was carrying his child? Did Ivan suddenly long for a family and either woman would do?
Then it hit her. Ivan was doing to Lucy the same thing that he’d done to her. He might be a man full of surprises, but this house wasn’t just a surprise for Katie Ann—it represented betrayal. Again. This time he would slither away from Lucy, just as he’d done to Katie Ann, leaving her without any money or future to look forward to. He might not have taken money for himself, but he’d certainly left her in a bad financial way. Just as he had planned to do to Lucy. He was a selfish man, but Katie Ann still wondered whether or not her love for him would have been enough to open her heart to him again.
After only a short while, she decided not. She stood up, took a final look around, and knew exactly what she was going to do.
She asked the driver to take her back to Robert’s office. He was busy with someone else when she arrived, but after about thirty minutes, she was escorted back to his office. She didn’t sit down.
“I would like to pay off the mortgage on the house.” She raised her chin, determined not to cry.
“Really?” Robert scratched his chin. “So you’re planning to move back to Lancaster County?”
She fumbled with Ivan’s letter in the