face heated. “So, about that list of vendors?”
“Let’s get that, shall we?” Her odd little reading room acted like a vacuum, and the mundane world rushed in as soon as she opened the door. I got my phone back, and Minerva gave me a thick manila envelope. “This is the list you need as well as a few pages of details I think Leon should know. Tell him he can call me anytime if he has questions.”
“I will.”
I left with a few questions, myself.
Did the ace of swords in the past position mean my great transition was over, or was I still in the middle of it?
Could I live up to the queen of cups card and become the kind of person people might look to for real help and compassion?
Did the knight of wands, which in my mind was obviously a metaphor for Thuong, promise a passionate future or a painful one?
What did St. Nacho’s have in store for me next?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
St. Nacho’s, December 21, Winter Solstice
I’m not going to admit Luke was right, but things have been a lot better lately.
He’s still every fucking place I go, one way or another, especially since I finally got my M1 license. Minerva has me helping with the library fundraiser, so I’ve been running her errands. Between that, working at the bakery, and delivering food for Bistro and a few other places in town, I fall into bed exhausted every night, but exhaustion is awesome.
When you’re exhausted, you don’t have time to make trouble. I sleep like a kid these days. But as I drift off, I think of all the times Luke and I have bumped into each other during the day, and I can’t help wondering, why can’t it be more?
At first it was awkward, giving him a kiss like that. We don’t say anything, we just… kiss. It’s G-rated, like we said. Less than five seconds. If I see him when he’s working, I might mime a kiss or blow him one. He’s such a goofball. He mimes catching my kiss and putting it into his pocket.
I thought I was going to feel stupid, but instead, it warms something inside me to know he’s always there, quietly supporting me. These days, I dream of a future where we can go to the Alano club together instead of giving each other furtive, glancing kisses in the hallway. I imagine delivering more than just G-rated kisses along with his pizzas. I imagine us together, and right now the picture looks pretty sweet.
How soon is too soon?
What does a healthy relationship look like?
I’ve only been in one relationship ever, and that was with heroin. How will I know when love and desire are not just distractions I’m using to get over my “ex?”
Minerva says I’ll know when it’s time. I hope she’s right.
Thuong
As if Minerva and the rest of the library centennial committee had ordered it, the weather on the winter solstice was picture perfect. The sky had been dark blue and fathomless all day, dotted with thick puffy clouds moving fast enough to make watching them dizzying. We got a travelogue-worthy sunset—magenta and mauve and gold—until the sun slid beneath a horizon swathed in blood red and indigo like twilight in the tropics.
After that dazzling display, the festival began with food trucks parked in the library parking lot and all the adjacent streets blocked off to traffic in both directions. Families strolled from place to place sampling food from St. Nacho’s best restaurants and baked goods from Café Bêtise and Miss Independence Pies. Since it was not just chilly but quite cold, everyone had bundled up against the wind from the sea.
There were games and obstacle courses and a bounce house for the kids. I’d helped set up a craft area for wreath making. The high school jazz band played “Jingle Bell Rock.”
Cooper Wyatt strolled through the crowd with his violin, and later, I saw Beck playing guitar with a couple of elementary age kids. They were simple songs. Perhaps Beck had begun teaching guitar.
As I watched, Beck’s veterinarian boyfriend came up to me.
“You’re Tug’s friend, right?” he asked. “You moved here?”
“Yes. Luke.” I held out my hand and we shook. “I got a job at the library.”
“I’m Lindy.”
“I remember.”
“Nice to see you again.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of lovingly worn jeans. “I’m hoping to graduate to fiancé over the holidays.”
“Congratulations.”
His eyes sparkled. “It’s a secret, so don’t tell.”
I mimed zipping my lips. “I’m a vault.”
“I’ve been