there’s a lot of emotions to get through.”
I ached for him. “Is that how it works?”
“Yeah. The hits just keep on coming.”
“Sorry.”
“I’m not. Whatever.” He paused. “First, I want to say how sorry I am that I did that thing. At the motel.”
“What thing was that?” I wanted to hear him say the words.
“When I borrowed ten dollars from you that I said was for cigarettes, but I got Vicodin instead.”
“Borrowed?”
“I took it. I was never gonna pay you back. I think you know that.”
“Yeah.”
“I get how that must have made you feel.”
“You do?”
“Well, I assume you felt played.”
“I did,” I said. “And I didn’t like the feeling. Am I a mark to you?”
“You were.” His voice trembled a little. “Everybody was back then. You were smarter than most.”
“And maybe more naive.”
“Yeah. I truly regret doing that to you. If it means anything.”
“Thank you.” I did a gut check. If I believed him, it did mean something.
As I waited in the silence to see if that was the only reason Tug had called, people passed by after they checked out with Keith. Some waved goodbye.
“So…” Tug spoke. “I had to borrow someone’s calling card, and I can’t take forever to say the rest. I’m supposed to have family or a significant other or whatever come to Thursday night family group now that I’ve passed the thirty-day mark. And for obvious reasons, I’m not gonna call my biodad. I was hoping maybe you would come.”
“You want me to come to family group?” Some part of me waited for the catch.
“Now that you say it like that, it sounds really dumb, huh?”
“No—”
“Oh, okay. So, I won’t bother you—”
“You didn’t let me finish. No, that doesn’t sound dumb because I was there when you started your journey, so of course I’d be interested to hear how you’re doing.”
“But, I mean… I guess we’re supposed to talk to people about how our drug use affected their lives and let them vent about how it impacted them, but I don’t have anyone like that I can bring.”
My breath caught. “You don’t think what happened affected me?”
“Oh. Well, yeah. I guess.”
“Thursday night? What time?”
“We meet at seven. Does the library stay open late on Thursday?”
“Yeah, but I’ll switch with someone.”
“You can do that? Really? I mean, it’s okay if you can’t make it. I won’t freak out or anything. We do it every week, so if you can’t make it this week—”
“I’ll talk to my boss, Suzanne. I’m pretty sure she’ll be all right with switching my shift. She owes me for an extra Sunday a couple weeks ago.”
“Okay. Yeah.” He paused. “Okay, except I need to tell you something. Promise you won’t get mad, okay?”
“What?” The hairs on the back of my neck lifted.
“Okay. Well. What I need to say is that if I’m expecting you, and you don’t show up, I’ll feel really awful. So if there’s a chance you won’t make it, will you please not say you will?”
I could only imagine what it must have cost him to tell me that. The formerly manipulative, falsely confident Tug from the Palm Court Motel would not have asked for what he needed quite so plainly. He’d never have let himself appear vulnerable, not authentically anyway. He’d have done anything to protect himself except ask for help.
“Do you have one more minute? I can go and ask Suzanne right now. She’s here.”
“Please.”
I put Tug on hold and asked Keith to switch shifts with me. When he said yes, I went to talk to Suzanne. She looked like she wanted to ask me questions, but I explained I was still on the call and needed an answer. She’d have to wait to satisfy her curiosity. I nodded my thanks and went back to the front desk and Tug.
“Yeah. I switched shifts and Suzanne’s okay with it. I’ll see you at seven on Thursday.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m glad you asked me.”
He chuckled. “I’m not sure I want to hear what you have to say.”
“Guess you’ll have to wait and see, huh?”
“Guess so.” He disconnected the call, which was all the time it took for Suzanne to buttonhole me.
“What was that?” She had an interested glint in her eyes. “Did you just make a date?”
“No, nothing like that.” I gave a nervous laugh.
“Well, what was it? Spill.” My boss liked to think she was friends with all of us. Sometimes she was a little nosy, but I liked to believe her heart was in the right place.
“Look, I’m not sure