said. “I get it. You need things in this life that are bigger than you.”
My body was vibrating. That electric, hot-pink glow I’d gotten the day the idea for Wild Heart had struck into my brain like lightning was repeating itself. The universe was shaking wisdom loose for me and I knew what it was. Money. Good. Evil. The way it flows through our lives and touches everything, the impact it leaves.
What if Wild Heart started giving away money, like I’d always planned?
“That’s why I started this place,” Beck said. “It’s about dogs. But it’s also about people. The way they impact each other. And yeah. I don’t want to live in a society that tosses anyone away—animals or people. We’re not some huge fancy place and we never will be. But I guess I want to help as much as I can.”
“You’re doing a great job,” Jimmy said. He turned to the camera. “Everyone should donate here.”
They both laughed, the room lightening a little bit. Jem sniffed next to me.
“Everyone should donate here,” Beck said. “And one last thing. Well, two, I guess. The more money we raise, the more dogs we can rescue. The more people we can help find something real, like Jimmy did. Please don’t give up on us. We promise to keep expanding for as long as we can.”
I looked at the camera, preparing to turn it off.
“The other thing was about Luna.”
I shook my head. No, I mouthed. About you. I pointed at him.
“Luna da Rosa made a mistake and she’s making it better,” Beck said. “And I can personally say that she has more compassion and integrity in her little finger than most people do in their whole body. I trust her. And I believe in her.” He coughed a little. “And thank you.”
I clicked off. Glanced down at my phone to see the response to the live video. Checked it against the donation page.
“Well,” I said, “the video was about ten minutes long and you raised another $100,000 in that time.”
Elián hooted behind me and Jem screamed.
“Great job, boss,” I said to Beck. If I didn’t touch this man soon, I was going to lose my mind.
“Sure,” he said. “We all did a great job.”
Then I watched Beck hug Wes. Hug Jem. Whisper something in their ears that had them nodding.
When he walked over to me, he surprised me—placing a palm to my cheek.
“You didn’t have to say those things about me,” I said softly.
“Yes, I did,” he replied.
Fireworks.
41
Beck
Those ten minutes had been a rush.
And fucking terrifying.
A strange peace came over me at the end. Like a truth had been knocked free so I could show it to the world. According to Luna, millions of people were watching it.
In reality?
The only person in that room was Luna.
Even as Jimmy’s words made me remember my own past, even as I watched Jem and Wes respond to a feeling we all could identify with—being worthless to the world.
But really, Luna da Rosa held my attention. She was the only one I was speaking to.
Two of the longest hours of my life went by—we sent Betty and Veronica home with Jimmy and busied ourselves with the usual. Luna and Jem trained Penelope. Elián helped me put everything I’d said into that video into a speech I could use. Wes counted checks and answered volunteer requests. It was a good goddamn day, sliding into a good goddamn night. And when seven o’clock hit, I sent everyone home.
Everyone except Luna.
The knock came at 7:02. For the past two hours, I’d been filled with lust and emotion. It wouldn’t take much for me to become an animal. Luna stepped in, slid the door shut. There was a dirty paw-print in the middle of her white tank top. Her skirt was dusty at the ends. Her makeup was smudged. Luna was coming to me as authentic as she’d ever been.
“Lock the door,” I said. I had to force the words through my tight throat.
She did. I nodded at the open blinds and she closed them with trembling fingers.
“Come here.” I patted the spot on my desk directly in front of me.
She sat prettily in front of me, looking like a gift. I rolled my chair forward. Pulled the tie from her hair. Pressed my nose to the loose tendrils. Inhaled as she sighed. My arms came around her body and my hands knocked every fucking thing from my desk—highlighters, pens, cups, leashes, dog food, sticky notes. All of it