cliff, his fingers slipping before he clasped the thin cracks within the smooth face of granite. He heaved himself up, his legs shaky, and looked over the wide cosmic landscape below him, his spirit in tatters.
Filling his lungs, he threw his head back, clenched his fists at his sides, and howled out his heartache until his legs gave out and he dropped to his knees. His heartache echoed back at him, the sound distorted by the rocky precipice into a cruel, mocking laugh.
He bowed his head to his chest, drained. There was only one choice he could make.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Her biggest fear had finally been realized. Call her certifiable. Gemma was beyond questioning what was real and what was myth. The facts were she was in love with a Dreamweaver. Truly believed he’d died prematurely and that they had been destined. They’d shared themselves with each other last night, and it had been deeper than any other physical coupling she’d experienced. Her soul was linked with his and her heart freely given.
After Tern had left, she’d decided to call off her date with Cub. But hadn’t figured out exactly how she was going to do that without damaging his spirit. Allowing him to think there could be something between them wasn’t fair either. She’d tried to connect with Lucky, swearing she’d felt him hovering in the store, but the snow had thickened, and she figured he hadn’t been able to break through. Later tonight he would. The skies were supposed to clear up. And the thought of being with him again, no matter the capacity, had her heart skipping.
She’d left the store for Callista and Amie to manage and headed to her mother’s. There were some things she needed to know. No longer was she a disbeliever.
Hallelujah and all that jazz, she believed!
Somehow Siri was connected to the world Gemma had visited. She needed to know how, and what were the implications of what she’d actually done last night, and how to make them everlasting.
There was a sense of rightness, freeing actually. Like she’d finally let go of the fear. After all, her biggest fear had been that she’d turn out as bat-shit crazy as her mother. Guess what, crazy wasn’t so bad. In fact, it felt downright liberating in a strip-off-your-clothes-and-celebrate-the-equinox kind of way.
Holy balls.
Snow spitting sideways, slowed her progress. The roads had turned dangerously icy. It was a relief to finally park her car in front of her mother’s.
Hell, she’d never had that thought before.
Gemma let herself into the house, dusting snow off her hair and shoulders.
“She’s been waiting and seems pretty lucid,” Rosie said, taking Gemma’s coat. “I was able to get her medication into her, but you know how it is. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I have to know.”
Rosie nodded and stepped aside. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She kissed Gemma’s cheek. “Listen with an open heart.” Then she disappeared into the back of the house.
Siri sat on the low cushion, in front of the carved table, shuffling the Tarot deck in front of her. Dressed in a caftan of silk saris, she was the bright spot in the candlelit room. Her breath caught when her eyes met Gemma’s. “No,” she gasped. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“You can see?”
“Oh, Gemma, my bright star, I did not want this for you.” A hitch in her mother’s voice tugged at Gemma’s heart. It wasn’t lost on her that she’d called her Gemma instead of Gemini either.
“Mom, why didn’t you tell me?” Gemma knelt down at Siri’s feet and took her hands in hers.
“How could I? You would have locked me up for sure.” A sad smile curled her lips. “Let me tell you a secret.” She leaned in and whispered, “I’m not all here.” She tapped her temple. “A big part of me exists somewhere else.”
This wasn’t news to her. Except for the idea that Siri believed parts of herself existed somewhere else. “Tell me how, please.”
“That’s it.” Siri shrugged. “I can’t remember it all anymore. There are vague images, feelings. I was so into experimentation when I was younger. Did things that one shouldn’t. Drugs, sex, astral projection when I didn’t understand the gravity of what I was dealing with. So many mistakes, thinking I knew it all. There are elements, spirits out there who are not to be trusted. They want to live again so badly that they will tempt and tease you into risking things that you would not otherwise do. Risking your very