words were torn from her. She so badly wanted to lose herself in him. “Lucky, I can’t make a decision like this when I’m this sleep deprived.”
She felt his need to push and was surprised when he took a slight step away from her. His hands shook where they still held her hips, but he was no longer pressed against her. Part of her breathed easier, but the other part mourned the promise of his body next to hers.
“Rest, Gemma,” he said. Though she clearly heard the implied, “You’ll need it for next time.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Gemma tossed and punched her pillow. She glared at the digital clock on her bedside table as the minute turned from 1:59 to 2:00 am. How could she not sleep? She hadn’t slept more than a few fitful hours in weeks. What the hell? She was alone. Utterly and completely alone. She’d tried a hot shower, needing it after the jail stopover.
Her mind ran circles around her problems, never settling on a course of viable action. Maybe she should talk to someone? Who? A therapist? Right. What she needed was a freaking sleeping pill.
And Siri had given her some.
Gemma jumped out of bed and raced into the kitchen. Where had she put them? Her purse produced nothing, but the pocket of her coat proved helpful. There was the small plastic baggie with a dozen or so small white sleeping pills.
Had Siri said how many to take? One, two, four? Obviously not four. Geez. Maybe not even two. She could Google the information if the pills had a name on them. But there was only a number etched into the face of the pills. Should she call Siri and ask? No, it was way too late to call anyone. Besides, she shouldn’t even be entertaining the idea of taking medication her mother recommended.
Obviously, she was way past doing anything reasonable.
She needed sleep, and she was going to get some even if it killed her. Okay, probably not the best thought to have. She’d take one pill. If that didn’t work within a reasonable time frame she’d take another. An hour should be good.
Fishing one of the little white pills out of the baggie, Gemma swallowed it whole without water. She stood there waiting, for what she didn’t have a clue. A magical stirring of melatonin that promised sweet oblivion?
Clutching the baggie in her hand, she filled a glass of water and headed back to bed. Setting down the glass with the bag of pills next to the bed, she came to a cold stop. What was she doing? Sleeping pills cozying up to a glass of water didn’t give off a happy outcome for waking up in the morning. If ever.
It was so hard making decisions—right or wrong—when she wasn’t in her right mind. The pills had to go, but suddenly the effects of whatever she’d taken took form. Her legs were heavy, reflexes sluggish. What had she taken? Definitely needed to know that before she’d taken them. Her eyes refused to focus. Things in the room seemed to move on their own or was she swaying? Everything was too much effort, just gathering the pills and hiding them away in her night table—far away from the glass of water—took all the energy Gemma had left.
A few tries and she was able to swing back the covers and crawl under them. Her eyelids locked shut, and her breathing slowed. A sense of peace came over her, and she sighed. Finally, she’d get the rest she’d been depriving herself.
Then suddenly it felt like she’d stepped off the planet. Tripped into nothingness.
One second she was flat on her back in bed, the next transported as though she were on the starship Enterprise and Scotty had just beamed her up.
Deeper than sleep. Deeper than a coma. She was gone.
She opened her eyes to find herself not on her bed. Not even in her bedroom. By the warmth, and lush grass under where she lay, she wasn’t even in Alaska. The only snow and ice in sight was high atop amethyst mountains in the distance.
Her breath caught on the beauty and tranquility of wherever she was. Colors more vibrant than any palette painted wildflowers that bobbed and swayed in the sweet-scented breeze. She couldn’t quite comprehend the snow-topped majestic mountains sheltering the surrounding meadow. A blue ribbon of liquid sapphires sparkled in the sun. If this was a dream it was the most visual and sensual one she’d ever had. Too