then looks up at the ceiling, shrugging. “I may have bribed Paul into asking his friend who was flying to Anchorage to pick up supplies to let Max ride along with him so he could catch a flight out this evening, but still, he’s on his way back to Seattle as we speak. And his girlfriend April, who has to be the sweetest woman in the world, told him they would find a way to work things out, so Max left in a good mood.”
“Good,” I agree, giving her a squeeze, and she hops down.
“Yeah, and hopefully he pulls his head out of his ass and realizes what he has, because when I talked to her today to give her Max’s flight information, she seemed really nice. She even asked if Hunter could fly out after the birth to meet his brother or sister. I told her yes, and told her Hunter can fly out anytime he has a break, unless it’s a holiday. Then we will have to split those up so it’s fair for Max and me.”
“That’s good, baby,” I concur.
“I don’t want to keep Hunter from them. He’s so excited to be a big brother, and I would never want to keep him from having that.”
“I know, babe,” I tell her, and she smiles then tilts her head to the side, studying me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying,” she says, leaning in and resting her hands against my chest.
“Tina came by the station today. She’s planning on moving to Anchorage at the end of the month.”
“Oh no,” she whispers, leaning back.
“It’s good for me, but it’s going to suck for the kids. Flights in the winter are sporadic and expensive. Flights in the summer are just expensive, so it’s going to be a hit every time I send them out to see her.”
“Won’t she help you with that? I mean, she’s the one moving, not you,” she asks softly, studying me.
“I’m sure she’ll try, but waitressing doesn’t pay much, so she won’t be able to do it on her own, and I know the kids—especially Steven—will want to see her often, and I want them to have their mom.”
“I’ll help. Max agreed to give me more a month for Hunter, and with him dropping the custody fight, me working, us moving in together, and this house being paid off, money will loosen up. We’ll figure it out.”
“That’s sweet, baby, but no.” I shake my head, giving her sides a squeeze.
“Why no?” she asks, as her nose scrunches in confusion and her brows draw together.
“They’re my kids… Tina and my kids. We’ll work it out. The money Max is sending you is for Hunter. The money you make is for you. And the kids and me moving in here means I pay for the utilities and things that need to be done around the house, so we’re not living free.”
“Um… what if that doesn’t work for me?”
“It’ll work.”
“Zach.” She pushes against me until I’m forced to let her go then stares at me from a few feet away, which suddenly feels like miles between us. “I told you.” She points at me. “I told you what happened between Max and me. I told you that he always made me feel like his happiness came before mine, that his wants came before mine.”
“Shel.” I run my hand through my hair in agitation and hold her gaze.
“No, I never want to feel like I’m not contributing, like I’m not the other half of a whole. I cant live like that again. We are either both in this together, or we’re not in this at all.”
“Baby, I love that you want to help me, bu—”
Holding up her hand palm out, she shakes her head, cutting me off. “No, no buts. You either accept that I need to help, that I need to feel like the life we are building is one we are building together, or I can’t do this.”
“They’re my kids.”
“You’re right. They are,” she agrees, with a jerk of her head. “I’ve accepted them. I’ve fallen in love with them and you, but the life I want is one where we are a family, one where we figure out how to share each other’s burdens. I love you.” Her voice softens, cutting me to the bone. “I don’t think I’ve ever fallen out of love with you, but I decided a long time ago that if I ever got into a relationship again, it would be with a man who understands