and you can’t let it. He’s a good man and a good father. He loves his kids down to his bones. You need to find a way to make peace with what took place after you left. I’m not saying you need to like it, but life happens, and it’s not always perfect. Sometimes, the road to happiness is full of trials and tribulations. You just have to figure out how to make it past the hard parts so you can find your piece of happiness.”
“Why her? Of all people, why her?” I ask the question I’ve asked myself time and time again.
“Don’t know. That’s something you’ll have to ask him.” He shrugs, letting my hand go, putting out his cigarette, only to take another out of the pack on the table and light it up. “What I do know is the light I see in his eyes is one I haven’t seen for a long time.”
“Like I said, we’re going slow.”
“And like I said, find a way to talk to him. Get the answers you need and make peace with them. You don’t have to like what he tells you, but you don’t want to look back ten, twenty years from now, wishing you would have taken the chance on opening yourself up.”
Leaning back, I close my eyes briefly. “I think part of me is still in love with him,” I admit, wondering how that’s even possible after so long and so much history.
“Love never dies. Sometimes, it transforms into something else altogether, but it never goes away.”
“I made mistakes of my own. I know I made him feel like Samuel’s adoption was all on him, like he forced me to go through with it, when he didn’t.”
“One more thing for you two to talk about.”
“Yeah,” I agree, knowing he’s right. We do need to talk about it. I may not want to, but if we are ever going to find a way to make it work, we will need to at some point.
Hearing laughter coming from the house, I look in and see Aubrey doubled over laughing in her chair with Denver, who is sitting next to her, watching her with a soft look on his face.
“Oh shit.”
“Oh shit what?” I ask, turning to look at Paul, and he shakes his head.
“Girl’s pretty. Has no idea how pretty she is, and I think Den just realized it for himself.”
Looking back inside, I see Den hasn’t taken his eyes off her, and then I look at Zach to see if he noticed, and sure enough, his narrowed eyes are pointed at Den in a way that says he’s about to get out of his chair and commit murder.
“I better go in before your son ends up dead,” I mutter, and he chuckles. He snuffs out his cigarette and opens the door, letting me in before him. “What’s so funny?” All eyes swing to me, and Maisey grins while Joe shakes her head, smiling.
“Hunter was just telling us about when you two saw the bear in your house,” Joe says, and I look at Hunter.
“Your face when you saw the bear was funny, Mom, and the way you screamed.” He laughs, and Aubrey starts to giggle.
“I was surprised. It’s not very often you turn around in your kitchen and find a bear standing there.”
“True, baby,” Zach says softly, and my belly melts a little when our eyes lock.
“Are you guys ready for dessert?” Joe stands, and all of the kids say yes.
“Good, we’re having my grandma’s salmon berry pie with vanilla ice cream.”
“Salmon berries,” I whisper, and Joe looks at me and smiles.
“Wanna help me?” she asks.
“Sure.” I follow behind her, feeling Zach run his fingers over mine as I pass him. By the time I enter the kitchen, Joe has already gotten the ice cream out of the freezer and is pulling the foil off that was covering the pie. “Do you want me to scoop?”
“Yep, drawer next to the fridge,” she says, and I get the scoop then stand next to her at the counter.
“I haven’t had salmon berries in forever. They don’t have them in Seattle,” I say, as my mouth waters. Salmon berries are similar to raspberries or blackberries, but the colors vary between oranges, yellows, and sometimes pinks, but the taste sets them apart, because they are sweet but a little bit sour as well.
“They’re hard to come by if you don’t live in Alaska. I make jellies in the summer and freeze as much