I…extinguish the candle?”
“Sweet mercy, no,” Joshua said. “In fact, you should light a few more. You’ll need them to see what you’re doing.”
“Oh.”
“And I’ll need the light to watch you too.”
“You want to…Oh.”
She didn’t know what to do with her hands, which were fluttering this way and that. He, of course, was quite at his leisure.
“Should I be…on top of the covers, or underneath?”
“On top will make it easier. And I am trying to make this easy for you.”
“Oh, is that what you’re doing?” she muttered.
She crawled onto the bed near the pillows and sat with her knees hugged to her chest, her nightgown pulled tight over her feet. His powerful form in her peripheral vision teased her, dared her to look. She wriggled to dispel the peculiar sensations in her nervous body and kept her eyes straight ahead.
He made no move to touch her, but watched her, thoughtful and serious. It was as though there were two versions of him—one wicked and playful, the other gentle and caring—and the speed with which he switched between them made her head spin.
But there was also the ill-mannered hothead, the brash whirlwind, the intense idealist, the stubborn tyrant, the demanding employer…How confusing he was.
“You’re being very brave,” he said. “How far are you going to take this?”
“I am a gentleman’s daughter and I honor my promises. You gave me half an hour of politeness so I can give you…Oh.”
That wicked, playful glint returned. “Half an hour? Is that how long I get?”
“I don’t know. How long does it take?”
The sound he made might have been a laugh, might have been a groan. He rolled onto his back and covered his face with his hands. She had no idea what version of him this was and was regarding him with some perplexity, when the ring on the smallest finger of his left hand caught her attention.
Right next to where his wedding ring would be if he hadn’t lost it.
“What was it about anyway?” she asked. “The argument with your father.” She shifted onto her knees and touched the ring lightly. “The two of you mentioned a ring. Was it this ring?”
When he rolled back onto his side, she took his ring hand in both of hers. He let it rest there, heavy and trusting, so much bigger and more powerful than her own. It was a busy hand, as she would expect from him: a network of veins and bones, with a long, thick scar near his thumb, a smaller one by his wrist. Not soft but not rough. His nails were clipped and clean. He said nothing when she ran a thumb over his knuckles, brushing against the fine black hairs, pausing at the ring. The band was ornate silver, with a large square bezel set with onyx, on which was engraved a coat of arms.
“It’s a signet ring,” she said. “Was this given to you when you were still Lord Treyford’s heir?”
If this was the signet ring of Viscount Otham, the courtesy title for the heir to the Earl of Treyford, then Joshua had been entitled to wear it once. But now he was not: It claimed an identity—a very high social position—that was not his. Wearing it was a terrible thing to do.
Which was no doubt exactly why he wore it.
She glanced at him. His eyes were on their joined hands, and with his lashes lowered, he looked almost at peace. The candlelight softened his features, caressed the angles of his cheekbones, the curves of his lips. She could not recall ever noticing the shape of a man’s lips before.
“It must have been difficult for you,” she said. “To have lost everything at only fourteen.”
“It was half a lifetime ago and of no interest whatsoever.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers. “I can think of much more interesting things.”
He tugged his hand free and set his palm on her thigh. Warmth and pressure coursed through her, sweeping up over her skin, pausing to swirl between her thighs. An odd sensation, intensifying, right there, where he…where they…where she…Oh dear.
His hand inched upward. She instinctively slapped both hands over it. She stopped his progress, but not her own body’s persistent call.
And she should not try to stop him. She should encourage him. Seduce him, even. She would never get a child if she didn’t.
“Backing out already?” he asked, rough and low.
“I will see this through.” Her voice was unsteady and she tried to smile. She glanced at his…there…She thought she could