“Everything I’ve done, I’ve done because I love you.”
“I know that.” His tone softened, but his gaze didn’t. “I also know you’ve lived thousands of years alone, so you’re not used to having a partner. I’ve tried to make allowances for both, but there is a limit. This is it. If you want me in your life, no more going it alone when things get dangerous. Not with this netherworld trip now, and not later, either.”
Then, he leaned close, until his words fell like the lightest of caresses against my newly wet cheeks.
“Choose us. Together, we can defeat anything in our way.”
I choose him, my other half thought at once. If you’re too stupid to, then get out of my way.
Breath exploded out of me in a shaky laugh. “You’ve convinced one of us.”
His hand slid through my hair, making shivers dance over me. “Little wonder. That part of you isn’t carrying unnecessary guilt. Stop thinking you’re responsible for everything bad that’s happened to me since we met. You’re not. I chose, every time, as I’m choosing again. Now, it’s your turn.”
This was impossible! I couldn’t end things between us, but how could let Ian go into the netherworld with me? Any number of things could go wrong! If I didn’t make it out, that would be unfortunate. If Ian didn’t make it out, it would destroy me.
But what was I supposed to do? Have Phanes show me my father so I could wave good-bye, and then leave him to the literal pit of despair?
“Since you two seem so obsessed with time, I should mention that we’re short on it,” Phanes said, with a snapping fold of his wings. “The veil is thinnest right before dawn, which is now. That gives us the best chance of slipping through without anyone noticing. Or”—he offered us a cold smile—“we could always postpone this rescue mission until this same time tomorrow. I don’t mind waiting.”
Spend a full day in Phanes’s realm? How many months would that equate to back in our world? Two? More?
“Sod that,” Ian said. “We go now.”
We. He hadn’t used that word by accident. Either we would go together, or I would go alone and stay alone afterward, too. That’s the choice he’d left me with.
Don’t be a fool! my other half snapped. You’re not leaving our sorcerer. Besides, he successfully navigated the dark void of Dagon’s soul when he was trapped inside him, so how much worse could the netherworld be?
Valid points. Still, they weren’t what swayed me. In the end, it came down to the same thing that had led me to my most reckless decisions before.
I loved him. Nothing was greater than that, even my fear.
“Ian,” I said in my steadiest tone. “Care to accompany me through the solitary-confinement section of the netherworld?”
His teeth flashed in an instant grin. “Thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter 15
I stood in front of the watery wall that separated Phanes’s realm from the land of the dead. Or, more specifically, the land of the punished dead. The netherworld didn’t only contain suffering souls. It also contained peaceful, happily-at-rest ones, too. How I wished we were going to that section instead of the solitary-confinement one.
Ian and Phanes were lying on the ground near my feet, two small, empty bottles next to them. I had a similar bottle in my hand, but it was full. I had to wait to drink until after I cracked the veil.
Then, I’d drain the bottle and kill myself. Temporarily.
I’d be more nervous about that if Ian hadn’t made the potion. Phanes had argued that he should do it because he had more experience crafting potions that would release our spectral, astral selves from our corporeal bodies, but Ian insisted. Phanes had been left to sulk, proving there was no age or species limitation to that behavior. Still, to his credit, he’d downed the potion without hesitation once Ian was done with it. Then, his whole body had convulsed before going very still.
Ian hefted his bottle in salute to me before draining it. Seeing him spasm before going completely limp brought back memories that made me lean against the wall for support.
Nothing prepared you to see someone you loved dead. Nothing, not even knowing that it was only temporary. Despite all logic, my knees felt like they’d turned to water, while my throat burned as if someone were holding a blowtorch to it.
Then, Ian’s transparent shade sat up, shook his head as if clearing it, and leapt out of his