and jeans. I had a feeling, that by the time we were done and the sun was going down it would be cold, and I was planning on walking home the two miles from the sheriff station. "Now Kia, we don't need to get off on the wrong foot. Your reputation precedes yourself. However, I'll have you know that I ran a marine platoon, and I've come across a lot tougher than a woman like you."
I opened the door and looked him square in the eyes. "A woman like me?"
"You might want to finish buttoning your shirt before I have to add indecent exposure to those charges." I looked down and noticed my black lace bra was front and center, and my denim shirt was loose and open to show off my B cup boobies for all to see. They weren't huge, but they were being pushed right up there by my demi push-up bra complements of V's Secrets. Right now, my bra is no secret.
I turned around and finished buttoning my shirt, the shirt I inadvertently forgot to button at the snap remark about a woman like me. For now, I was going to let that one go. I grabbed my walking shoes out of my closet and sat down to put them on. I never once looked Sheriff Cal in the eyes until we got back to the police station, and he informed me that he was the one that had to watch me take the piss test.
"What do you mean there are no females on staff to watch me?"
"Baby shower. They all took off, and since I was only coming in to get my uniforms and paperwork today, the rest of the office is short staffed. If my truck hadn't broken down I would be back at home right now catching the last of the final four games on TV."
I looked around the office and there was two other older gentleman who worked with Sheriff Cleat for thirty years - twenty-five of them dealing with me. I did not like my options. Neither of those men were going to get me to pee into a cup in front of them.
"Fine." I grabbed the pee cup and marched off towards the restroom, listening for the sounds of one Sheriff Cal Taylor ramble on about missing the basketball game, and somebody should have warned him more about me.
We stood there face to face in the bathroom stall. He was standing with both his hands on the top edge of the metal bathroom stall walls, and the door kicked open, off to the side. I stood there holding the pee cup between us with pleading eyes, fully dressed and unable to pee in front of a man. My nerves were feeling like they were at the end of their rope, and my eyes were beginning to brim with tears.
"I can't pee. I don't have to. It was only one beer at lunch. Call over to where I ate, and they can confirm it. I don't think I can pee in front of a man."
"Don't move." He marched out of the ladies restroom and was back with a bottle of water. He flipped the water faucet on and let the water run down the drain, I guess in hopes the sound of running water would speed the process up. He handed me the bottle of water and gave me that smile that I was beginning to confuse with sexy when really it was probably a smile he used when he wanted his way with the women. "Drink this. All of this. Listen to the water and plop a squat. Think of me as just an officer of the law. Visualize I'm a woman. There's nothing on you, I haven't seen a million times before."
I let myself try to visualize those six-pack of abs and muscular chest in a woman's dress, his dark short cut hair in a woman's blonde wig and hairy muscular legs in heels and pantyhose, and I started to laugh. I snorted out a laugh that embarrassed the shit out of me. "Hardly." Was the only word that came out of my mouth.
His eyes turned to a glare, and he pronounced my word in repetition with a question mark. "Hardly?"
I caught my breath from laughing and quickly replaced the mental image of Sheriff Cal as a woman and visualized the huge line of gorgeous women lined up behind him waiting for a chance at Sheriff Cal's naked hard