undress, or just take a shower. This is how I start it. The trouble. Finding devious ways to get my mojo going and then not knowing when to stop.
That made me think briefly of Steve and our precarious meeting. Who picks up a guy at a convenience store that's buying large size condoms? Me, that's who. Maybe it was because I was there to buy replacement batteries for my vibrator and the fact that not only was his package large, but his looks were sexy. His laughter was uncanny when he asked what the batteries were for as we stood in a line of six people. I leaned in, whispered into his ear, not wanting to tell a lie and said the truth as sexy as I could. He turned his complete attention to me and smiled. Before I knew it, he was buying my batteries for me, along with his condoms and telling me his offer of replacing my batteries, if you get what I mean. So it wasn't love at first sight, although he was good looking. It was after my first orgasm that I thought I fell in love. Well, love is blind and orgasms make women do stupid stuff. I should have stuck with the batteries.
I knew that what I had done, had not been done to hurt anyone, especially Steve's wife. If I had known he was married, I would have - NOT flirted. Thinking back, he did not have his ring on at the store either. Therefore, I needed to get over my guilt, conjure up some witty banter for the next time my mother drops a comment about it, and move on. Perhaps the convenience of my new naked neighbor moving in was just the type of moving on I needed.
When I finally could not take sitting any longer, I stood up to stretch with my back to the window. I let my arms stretch above my head, and my long tee shirt rose up with my arms. I let the air seep into the holes of my last resort underwear; my faded red, more like pink, well-worn and holey granny panties. Today was laundry day, so shoot me for not throwing them away like I should, instead I kept them around for days like today, procrastination laundry day. Where every sock, bra and underwear is dirty, and walking around without undies on in only a tee shirt wasn't my style after a night like last night.
When I finally bent down to touch my toes, I caught a glimpse of my toes that were in desperate need of a pedicure. Somewhere between last night's birthday soirée and this morning, I chipped two toenails to a ragged edge. A pedicure will be something I can run down the street and do while my laundry is taking up the only three washers and dryers in the basement apartment complex's laundry facilities. I know it's kind of rude, but it's Monday and the laundry room in my apartment building and the apartment across the way that had access to it - same management company, only one laundry room between the two buildings - was always empty on Monday mornings. So once a month I take a vacation or uh-hum sick day, sad - I know, and I wash a month's worth of laundry, clean my apartment, stock my cabinets with food and liquor and get my hair done along with a manicure and pedicure if I'm feeling lucky. Today, after getting a five-second glimpse of my finely sculpted naked neighbor's body, I am feeling good!
When I finally stood back up and turned to see the progress on my neighbor, I was shocked and mortified. Not only was he fully dressed in khaki shorts and army green tee shirt, but he was leaning against his window looking directly at me. Can you say deer caught in headlight look, from me? He had a devilish grin upon his adorable face. I couldn't make out the color of his eyes but his slightly tanned skin suggested Spanish heritage, and his dark-brown hair in a short cut suggested professional man or perhaps just a clean-cut bum that lived in these average rent apartments. I gulped hard as he waved, and I froze. Then he shook his head with a smile, turned his back to me with a backwards wave, and then he was out of my line of sight.
I bolted for my bathroom faster than superman could change in a