I had to eat your mushroom swiss and my cheddar bacon double-stacked delight.”
“You poor thing,” Yaz said dryly, brow arched. “How ever did you survive stuffing your face like you do every night? One of these days, your metabolism is going to crap out.”
“Oh hush. You count calories like it’s your job,” Ryan replied in a haughty tone.
While popping my neck, I went into the long story about my terrible date with Joseph Sloth and his obsession with Momma Sloth. I’d checked Tinder this morning and saw that Mr. Sloth had disappeared from my message history. He must have blocked me, oh darn.
“You bailed on me for that? Maybe we need to discuss your standards, Drew.” Ryan crossed his arms over his chest. “You said he sent you an impressive dick pic Monday, but was it truly worth it?”
“We didn’t hook up,” I admitted. “I’m sorry I bailed on you though. If it makes you feel better, I think I hooked up with the waiter,” I offered.
“You think?” Ryan asked while setting down his drink. He quirked his brow and eyed me, his tone turning serious. He reached across the table to grab my hand. “What happened?”
“I’m not sure. Everything after Joseph stormed out is kind of a blur. I remember going into the alley, kissing this hot waiter dude, then bam! I had crazy dreams about the waiter wanting to introduce me to his grandmother.”
“You don’t think you were date raped, do you?” Yasmin asked. Her normally playful grin was twisted in horror. She was already digging through her purse for her keys, half ready to drive me to the hospital in her Mustang.
A sick feeling made my chest constrict. Every hair on my body stood at attention, and I swallowed the dread climbing up my throat. No, that wasn’t what happened. I knew that with complete certainty. I didn’t feel violated.
“That’s the thing. I must have taken an Uber home. I woke up in my pajamas. I just feel hungover. I don’t feel like I had sex.” I blushed at that last part. Not knowing was kind of embarrassing and very terrifying. I was usually so incredibly careful. Maybe I had been drinking too much. But still, something deep within me could recall flashes of sitting in the back of a car in a daze, unlocking my door, changing clothes, and passing out on my bed. It just felt numb. Like a fragmented memory I couldn’t quite get a hold on.
Yasmin and Ryan exchanged wary looks. “I’m fine,” I promised. “Just weirded out. I’ve been working fourteen-hour days at the office, and I probably am just exhausted. Next time, I’ll make sure to share my location with you both.”
They relaxed some but didn’t seem convinced.
“No more Tinder dates alone,” Ryan said before picking up his drink and resuming his slurping of it.
“Agreed,” Yaz added. “Next time, we can go on a double date with Daddy. He can keep you safe,” Yasmin offered while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Yeah. I was certain Daddy wanted a double date.
“Please stop calling the old man you fuck for the benefits Daddy. It seriously grosses me out,” Ryan said before taking a large gulp of his drink.
“We don’t kink shame at lunch, Ryan. You know the rules. Besides, you’re just jealous,” Yasmin replied with a wink before turning to me. “Anyway, how is the job going? Are you ready for the new marketing launch?” she asked me. I let out a sigh of relief, ready for a normal conversation that didn’t revolve around the strange night I’d had.
“It’s going great. I really think we’ve nailed down the branding for this new product, and we’ve gotten a few porn stars to recommend it on their social media.”
I was the head of marketing for a sex toy company that specialized in female pleasure. I got to test products and find a way to normalize sex for the general public. I loved empowering women to chase after their orgasms and feel unashamed to buy the eleven-inch cock they’d been eyeing on their private browser.
“Is this the Verrrrronica?” Ryan asked.
“Nope! We scrapped that name last month,” I answered. “We’re trying to reach a Southern market, so we went with The Tumbleweed Tangle. Catchy, right?”
“When do I get to test it out?” Yasmin pouted.
I pulled out the discrete box from my Chanel tote and tossed it at her. “Let me know what you think. It’s got eleven speeds and is waterproof.”
“Hell yes. Daddy is going to love this!”
“Gross,”