I glance down, watching his long fingers curl around mine, wondering if this is all fake. The way he looks at me, how he touches me.
Of course it is. This was our plan all along. The sex thing? That was repressed need exploding all over each other—quite literally. We both haven’t had sex in so long, it was bound to happen. No big deal.
We’ll go back to normal once this evening is over. We might mess around one more time, possibly even the day of the wedding, but that’s it.
Maybe? I don’t know. Everything that’s happened between us is so confusing.
The wedding might be so stressful, though, that Theo won’t be into it. Into me. I can’t imagine what he’s dealing with, or how he feels about everything. He’s told me some of his worries and concerns, but we don’t dwell on Jessica and what she did because it hurts him.
Maybe those feelings are still repressed too. Maybe…
He’s still in love with her and this marriage is slowly killing him.
“I don’t think Theo should turn him down,” I say, surprised by my own declaration.
So is the rest of the table. They’re all staring at me as if I dropped a bomb in the middle of dinner. Which I sort of did.
“What do you mean?” Patti asks carefully.
“Yeah.” I glance over to find Theo contemplating me. “What exactly do you mean, Kels?”
He knows what I mean, but I guess he’s going to make me explain myself in front of his family. Maybe so he can get their opinion? I can tell they’re all very close. And they genuinely love each other. Seeing them almost makes me wish I came from a bigger family.
I release his hand and start talking. And gesturing. A habit of mine when I’m nervous. “Craig sounds—clueless. Like he has no idea how badly his betrayal hurt his cousin and his family. Maybe if Theo agrees to being one of his groomsmen, it’s a way for all three of them to come to terms with what happened.”
“Come to terms with Craig screwing his fiancée behind Theo’s back? Why is that even necessary?” Mason asks, sounding like a defensive little brother. This warms my heart, especially since I thought he was a complete douche when I first met him.
“It can also show Jessica that Theo is completely over her,” I point out, my gaze meeting Theo’s. I want to drive home that point. I want him over Jessica. Once and for all. “What guy would agree to something like that if he was still in love with her?”
Right?
They all start murmuring. Theo studies me as if I’ve grown two heads, and worry immediately fills me.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,” I confess, my voice low and just for him.
He smiles, though it’s strained. “You keep pushing for me to be in their wedding.”
Pushing? I’m almost offended by his word choice, but I choose to ignore it. Instead, I lift my chin, going for indignant. “I think it’s the right move.”
“I don’t know.” His voice is full of doubt. “It might not be.”
“But it could be.” Reaching out, I gently nudge his hand where it rests on the table. “Come on. Just do it. Let’s show Jessica you’re completely over her.”
He nods. Looks away. And again, I’m filled with worry.
My suspicions might be correct. He could still be madly in love with her. I suppose I can’t blame him. He was with her for years. He was going to marry her. That’s a major declaration of love, and I have no idea what that feels like. To be so in love with someone, you can imagine spending the rest of your life together. I usually can’t see beyond next week with a guy. Well, I can with Theo. As his friend. His secret hookup.
“It’s not a bad idea.” This comes from Max.
Theo turns his attention onto his little brother. “What do you mean?”
“Being a groomsman. Showing Jessica you’re over her. She’s a complete bitch for what she did to you.”
“Maxwell,” Patti breathes, but Max only rolls his eyes.
“Mom, it’s true and you know it. I’m sure you think Jessica is a total bitch for cheating on your son,” Max says irritably.
“Of course I’m disgusted by her behavior, and Craig’s especially. I just don’t call them names out loud,” Patti says with a little sniff.
Jim reaches out and gives her shoulder a squeeze. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’re all defensive of Theo, and we’re allowed to insult Jessica on occasion. And Craig