down my backside. So I was completely strung out when I growled, "No condoms."
It was then that Jude glanced in the direction of his nightstand drawer. His eyes jumped back to mine. "No, sorry, I meant the bathroom drawer. I don't… I don't keep condoms in that one. Just lube."
The revelation didn't mean much to me one way or another, but before I could climb off of Jude to get to the bathroom, he blurted, “It's not because I have unprotected sex!" There was a short pause as we both kind of just froze in place and then he added, “The lube is for when I feel like…"
I didn't need a light to see that his cheeks were turning red. I could hear the embarrassment in his voice as he muttered, "Shit."
With any other guy, I would've laughed, but Jude wasn’t any guy. With the way his brain worked, it was very likely that he was struggling to get his thoughts together and I wouldn’t risk humiliating him in any kind of way. As our relationship progressed, I would get better at knowing what Jude was feeling and when, but the lack of adequate lighting in the room made it impossible for me to read his eyes, so I had no way to know for sure if the moment was just humorous embarrassment or something more. So I followed my gut and kept kissing and touching him softly as he worked through whatever he was trying to say.
"Condoms are in the bathroom drawer," Jude said miserably, even as he moved his head so I could reach a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. I smiled against his hot skin. I could hear in his voice that he was embarrassed but not humiliated.
"So what is the lube in the nightstand for, exactly?" I asked him in a light, teasing voice.
Jude responded with a small shove against my shoulder. "Jerk," he said, though I could hear the smile in the word.
I grabbed the bottle of lube and leaned back enough that we could both look at it. "This is a pretty small bottle, sweetheart," I said. "I mean, I buy mine by the gallon at Costco—"
Jude gave me another playful punch to the shoulder and then he did something unexpected. He rolled us so I was suddenly beneath him. His hands closed around my wrists so he was pinning my arms to the bed. All my humor fled as Jude ground his hips against mine. The intensity between us returned as he dropped his mouth to mine. But he didn't kiss me. Instead, he softly said, "I don't keep condoms in that drawer because there isn't any reason to." Jude's eyes met mine as he continued with, "I've never had a guy here, Nikolai. Not in this apartment, and most definitely not in this bed."
My heart leapt at his admission.
Why had he made an exception for me?
Why had he let me in when he hadn't done the same for anyone else?
Excitement poured through my belly as I considered all the possible reasons why I was here in his bed. It was all I could do not to rip my hand free of his so I could drag him down for a real kiss and not the little butterfly ones he was teasing me with. When Jude moved my hands so they were closer together and was able to cover them both with just one of his hands, I didn’t really question the move.
Until Jude shifted his body so my dick was pressed against his backside and the fingers of his free hand closed around my shaft. When he began to rub my cock over his opening, I nearly came off the bed.
"Fuck, Jude," I growled.
He continued the sensuous torture until we were writhing against one another and I was breathless with need. "Please, Jude. I need you so much. Please, baby."
Jude kissed me deeply and I suddenly remembered that he’d released my hands. I quickly took advantage of that fact and wrapped my fingers around the back of his neck so I could take ownership of the kiss.
I was dimly aware of Jude doing something with his free hand, but it wasn't until I felt something cool against my dick that it hit me what he was doing. I tore my mouth free from his and looked down to see that he had his arm stretched behind him. My cock bounced against his fingers… his cool, lubed fingers. I nearly came on