Jude placed his free hand on my chest to support his body. He moaned and threw back his head as he did something to himself. My imagination ran wild until I reached my own hand down to confirm my suspicions. Sure enough, as soon as I ran my fingers along his hand, I could tell he had one finger inside of himself. It had to be the hottest thing I'd ever seen, or felt, rather. My tongue felt too thick for my mouth as I watched Jude pleasuring himself. Part of me wanted to just lie there and watch as he rolled his hips so he was basically fucking his own finger, but I’d never been any good at being a passive participant.
So I sat up and wrapped an arm around Jude to support him, then searched out the bottle of lube on the bed. It wasn't pretty but I somehow managed to lube up my own finger and then I was placing it at his backside. His luminous eyes dropped to meet mine. But when he began to withdraw his finger from his body, I murmured, "No, leave it."
Jude instantly stopped what he was doing. His eyes went wide when I began to gently press my finger into him. He gasped once the tip was in. I made him hold still as I pushed more of my digit into his willing body. It was only when he began calling out my name that I eased my hold on his hips. The second I did, he began fucking both his finger and mine. It was pure ecstasy to watch him, to feel him. As he pleasured himself, I kissed every part of his body that I could reach. My own dick was eagerly bouncing against my hand as it demanded its due, but I didn't want this moment to end and I knew once I was inside of him, it would be over too soon.
Jude spent several long minutes riding our fingers, but once I found his prostate and rubbed it, everything changed.
"Oh God," Jude called as he began jamming his hips down onto our fingers as best he could. I could hear his gasps turn to sobs and I knew why.
It wasn't enough.
Yeah, he could've gotten himself off, but not in the way he wanted, the way he needed.
"Shhh," I whispered to him in hopes of bringing him back to me. Jude opened his eyes and looked down at me and then his mouth was on mine. His hips were frenzied and his whimpers of need struck a chord in my heart. I wrapped my arm around his hips to slow his movements in the hopes that he’d be less frantic.
"Please, Nikolai," he cried against my mouth. His free hand was on my face and then he was pulling his own finger out of his body so that he could desperately ride just my finger, which was still inside of him.
"Please," Jude begged again.
I knew I needed to go get a condom. I knew that. But I couldn't move. And I knew why. It wasn't just that Jude was so caught up in this moment and needed something that only I could give him. I needed something too; I just didn’t know what.
"I've been tested, baby," I said softly to Jude. My words had him stopping all of his movement. He pulled back from kissing me and looked me dead in the eye. I could see the tracks of tears on his face but there was no pride in realizing I'd been right in knowing that something beyond just sex was happening to him.
"Yes," Jude said with a nod. His hair had fallen across his forehead.
I couldn't help but run my free hand through it before clasping the back of his neck to make sure I had his complete attention. "Are you sure?" I asked.
Jude nodded frantically. "I've been tested. I'm negative, Nikolai. I promise."
He didn't need to promise but I didn't tell him that. I knew he would never put me in danger just like I wouldn't do that to him.
Never in my life had I been with a guy without a condom before, but never in my life had I wanted to leave something of myself behind like I did now. Something that would make Jude mine forever.
I pulled him down for a rough kiss and then I was easing my finger out of his body. Jude kept kissing