down. My riders lured me into a trap.
I feel my rage, like a spark, catch and grow.
They closed in on me and held me at bay and slit my throat damn near to the bone.
My rage doubles and doubles again. How much time has passed? How long did it take for my body to reform? That is the trouble with skin and bones and blood and muscle. They can only repair themselves so fast, even on one like me.
I begin to push myself up, my body feeling new and old all at once.
A thick mass of flesh slides off of me.
This too, is a familiar sensation. How many fields have I watered with lifeblood and fertilized with flesh? How many men have clawed their way out from beneath such death?
Countless.
I’ve given this way of life up, and yet it will always be there as my first memories of existence.
I push away the body as I sit up.
But then my eyes catch on the delicate wrist and the two hamsa bracelets—
Everything within me stills. Everything but fear. Cold rolled fear.
I let out a noise.
No.
“Miriam?” My hands go to the body, but the limbs—the two that are left—are cold.
I don’t believe it.
It’s not her. She wouldn’t be this foolish. She wouldn’t. Please God, she wouldn’t.
I flip the corpse over, trying to wash away the sight of the soft, feminine limbs. Most of the body has been blown away, but there’s some skin remaining around the neck.
My eyes move to the throat, to the holy scar at its base.
Surrender.
“No,” it comes out as a plea. “Miriam.”
There’s not much of her face remaining. There’s not much of anything remaining.
I don’t expect my throat to tighten and my gut to twist at the sight of it all. I am used to dismemberment. I am not used to caring about the creature dismembered. But I always have with her. Her injuries always made me feel odd. Crazed and helpless and human. So very, disturbingly human.
She can’t be dead.
“Miriam,” I beg, tilting her head back. It flops to the side.
A thousand upon a thousand years and so many countless deaths. None of it had cost me anything.
But this one—
She’s not dead. She can’t be dead. Not her and not …
My eyes slip down to what remains of her torso. A third of it is simply gone, along with all the hopes and dreams it carried.
“No,” I sob. “No, no, no …” I cradle her against me.
Desperate, I press a hand to her skin, willing her wounds to heal. But the flesh won’t stitch back together. It won’t even attempt it. It’s stopped functioning altogether.
For one mad moment, I consider raising her like any other undead. But my heart crumples at the thought. It wouldn’t be her. I’ve reanimated enough bodies to know I’m working with a vessel and nothing more. What made Miriam Miriam is gone. Long gone.
I begin to weep in earnest, clutching her tightly to me.
Why, wife?
Why?
I glance around us at the sand and dust that coats our bodies. At the partially caved in wall near my feet. It takes a bit longer to see the few bits of metal scattered about and the charred remains of Miriam’s clothing.
They obviously buried me with the same damn explosives that kept going off when they were trying to kill me. And Miriam … Miriam must have seen them as well.
Which means my wife came for me despite their presence. Was it suicide? She had an unhealthy leaning towards death. Or had she tried to retrieve me?
My gaze goes back to her throat.
Surrender. The word mocks me now.
I feel mortal and powerless.
That thought alone pulls me from my grief. I straighten my shoulders.
I was never powerless. Not when I first woke and not now.
There is still one path that might be open to me, one possibility left.
I hold Miriam’s body to me and I begin to chant in Angelic.
This is my last hope. My only hope.
I close my eyes and the world disappears.
When I open them again, I am somewhere else.
Chapter 61
War
Thanatos stands in front of me like he’s been waiting. He looks unsurprised but vaguely disappointed.
“No,” he says.
Around us, the air shifts and moves. We are everywhere and nowhere all at once. So many voices filter in, so many faces flicker by. The humanity we swore to destroy is still teeming around us.
“Why are you here?” he asks, his dark wings looming behind his back.
“You already know,” I growl.
He eyes me up and down. “You should be