mood.
The water was up to her knees and then up to her thighs as she struck out against the heaving rollers, icy and sharp, and then she felt an arm close around her wrist, yanking her back.
‘I’ll find him,’ Luke shouted over the booming waves.
‘I’m coming too!’
‘No! Go back! Declan needs you! Go back – I’ll find Ewan!’
Sadie shook her head, and Luke must have decided there was no time to argue because he let go and they struck out together, water smashing Sadie in the face at every stroke, filling her mouth and stinging her eyes so she could barely see a foot in front of her. Everywhere was raging grey murk. The sea didn’t want her to find Ewan; the sea wanted him for itself, and she grew desperate and tearful, and now it wasn’t just waves choking her but grief as well.
You can’t have my brother! You can’t have him!
And then she saw him. He was barely keeping his head above the water, fighting a current that had him trapped.
She turned to see Luke still swimming towards him. He didn’t understand. He didn’t see that if he went where Ewan was he’d be trapped in the current too and they’d both get pulled away from the shore. She tried to call out but her mouth filled with water the moment she opened it. Even if she’d been able to he wouldn’t have heard. The sea was shouting and in her head Sadie screamed back.
You can’t have them!
She began to swim again, trying to see a way she could get to them without getting caught in the current, but her arms were tired and her lungs fit to burst and she could barely make out where they were from one second to the next. On the shore, Declan was waiting for them, and she could only hope that he was OK, but she couldn’t think about that. Right now, all she could think about was that all three of the people in the sea at this moment might not get out again. And she didn’t even care that she might be the one who didn’t make it – she only cared that the other two did.
Her muscles screamed and her limbs were so heavy she could barely get them to move, and yet she did, straining for every stroke, legs almost numb with cold but still kicking. But she was slowing down and she was getting weaker and she knew she couldn’t keep going for much longer. She saw that Luke had reached Ewan and they were both trying to make a break for one of the huge struts that supported the pier, hopeful, perhaps that the current would sweep them in that direction and that they could cling on until they were rescued. Sadie could only hope they’d make it, because she had nothing left now.
She turned herself round and tried to get to shore. She could either trust that Ewan and Luke had done enough to save themselves and try to save herself too, or she could keep going and die here – because she was certain that if she carried on swimming out she would drown. But she hadn’t been prepared for how strong the current would be, and how much the sea wanted to keep her from the shore, and how weak she was now, because no matter how she flailed and reached, she didn’t seem to get any closer. Then she saw Declan wading into the waves and her heart sank. They’d just saved him and he was coming in again to get her and now all four of them might die. If things hadn’t been quite so desperate it might have been funny, and in her half-delirious state she felt like laughing. She would have too, if opening her mouth wouldn’t have caused her to swallow half the Solent.
Then she saw him get closer, and she felt his hands grip her and he started to pull her back. He was stronger than her – perhaps stronger than all of them – and right now she was glad of it. If he hadn’t been so strong he might not have survived at all. But as he hauled her onto the shore she began to sob.
‘Ewan…’ she wept, exhausted, utterly wretched. ‘He’s out there with Luke.’
Declan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She leaned against him as they sat on the sand together, too tired and weak to do anything else,