a wedding. Just thinking about how hideous it would be made her shudder.
Regret tasted bitter on her tongue. It wasn’t just the pieces of her family that had been lost, she thought grimly. Her enthusiasm at the thought of planning her big day had faded. Now a big wedding seemed like a chore—one more thing she had to get done. So what was she to do? Cancel the wedding? She and Giorgio could elope, she thought. Surely there had to be somewhere elegant they could go. She couldn’t stand a tacky little plastic place where she waited in line with the other pathetic wedding couples.
Shaking off the image, she glanced around the table. The dinner was nearly finished, and while she should be happy to have her family around her, she wasn’t. Despite the rearrangement of the chairs and place settings, in her mind there was still an empty seat and an equally large hole in her heart.
She missed her. There, she’d thought it, admitted it, if only to herself. She missed Mackenzie. Missed her helping with the meal. Mackenzie had always been the first to join her in the kitchen, eager to do whatever job Barbara assigned her. Mackenzie was the one who helped her pick out the linens and made sure the table was set the way Barbara liked it.
When the meal was served, Mackenzie sat close to her. They talked wines and who was doing what in the valley. She enjoyed her time with the family and laughed often and now Barbara would never share that laugh with her again.
She caught sight of Rhys glancing at his watch.
“That’s the third time you’ve checked your watch in the past half hour,” she said. “Do you have somewhere you have to be?”
Rhys looked at her before nodding. “I’m meeting someone this evening.”
Barbara tried to take in the words. “You have a date with a woman?”
The table went silent as everyone glanced between them.
Rhys smiled at her. “Yes, Mom. With a woman.”
Not Mackenzie, she thought, feeling pain on her daughter-in-law’s behalf.
“It seems a little soon,” she snapped.
Giorgio watched her, as if prepared to rush to her side to comfort her, something she usually enjoyed. Just not today, she thought. Today she was sad and there was no solace to be found. A melodramatic thought, but still an accurate one.
“Jaguar and I have been looking at a new school for the kids,” Catherine said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “They’ll be using a lot of new teaching techniques that are more nurturing than traditional teaching methods.”
“Let me guess,” Barbara said dryly. “No curriculum, no tests. In fact the children decide what they want to learn.”
“You shouldn’t dismiss something just because it’s new,” Catherine told her. “The old ways aren’t always best.”
“Explain that to my grandchildren when they discover how helpful reading and math would have been to get a decent job.”
“Children need to be allowed to be themselves.”
“So they can grow up and leave you without a second thought?” she asked, tossing her napkin onto her half-eaten lasagna. “Excuse me, I have a headache.”
She walked out of the dining room and into the kitchen. Once there, she didn’t know where to go. Damn her! This was all Mackenzie’s fault. The pain of missing her, how everything was different.
Familiar hands settled on her shoulders. She turned and let Giorgio pull her close.
“I miss her,” she whispered into his shoulder. “I miss her so much. I hate her and I miss her.”
“You love her,” he corrected, stroking her hair. “It’s a natural thing to be sad. To love her and want things back how they were.”
She nodded. “You saw Rhys. He’s already moved on. He doesn’t care about their marriage. And Catherine with her ridiculous ideas. Where did I go wrong with my children?”
“They are beautiful children. You did a wonderful job.”
She stepped back and looked at him. “Why do you always see the best in me?”
“I see what’s real.”
She wanted that to be true but knew it wasn’t. He had an idealized vision of her that in no way matched reality. If he knew about the anger in her heart, how she wanted revenge and Mackenzie punished... But he didn’t. He saw only what he wanted to see, which was probably for the best. Of course it meant that he never really saw her for who she was.
He pulled her close again. “We will be married soon and that will help. You won’t have to be alone, as you