for him. He did the same and they hung on to each other. She breathed in his familiar scent, felt the heat of his body and knew this was very likely the last time they would be naked together. Not in a sexual way, although that was true, too, but in a bared-to-the-soul kind of way. As soon as they let go, everything would change because there was no going back.
She didn’t know how long they clung to each other or who leaned back first, but eventually they untangled and they were simply two people, staring at each other.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“Stop saying that. You don’t have to be. You’re right—it is over. I’ve known it somewhere inside, I just never articulated it, even to myself.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did. I meant what I said before. I love you, Mackenzie.”
She looked into his eyes. “But it’s not enough anymore, is it? Our love is different. It’s not what your mother has with Giorgio.”
His mouth twisted. “You saw that, too?”
“How in love they are? Yes, and while I was happy for them, being around them made me feel sad.”
He nodded. “The contrast. It made everything clear for me.” He hesitated. “We don’t have to do anything right away. We can take our time figuring it out. You know that a divorce won’t change your position at Bel Après.” He gave her a faint smile. “If my mother has to choose between the two of us, she’s going to pick you. We both know that.”
Divorce? Her position at Bel Après?
Reality gave her the second blow of the evening and she was no more prepared this time. If their marriage was over, of course they would be getting a divorce. That was what people did. And if she and Rhys weren’t married, then she would have to move out and...and...
“Don’t,” he said quickly. “Nothing has to change.”
“Everything has to change,” she told him, feeling her chest tighten. “Everything.”
He took her hand in his. “It doesn’t. We don’t have to decide anything tonight. Let’s pretend we didn’t talk about it.”
“We can’t.” She looked at their hands, the familiar way they were clasped, then carefully pulled free. “You want a divorce.”
He hesitated before nodding slowly.
She braced herself for the logical question. No, not the question. The answer.
“Is there someone else?”
Rhys drew back, his eyes wide. “Did I cheat? God, no. I wouldn’t do that. I’ve never done that.”
She believed him because of who he was. “But you wanted to.”
“Haven’t you?” He motioned to the space between them. “We haven’t had sex in years. We’re roommates, not a married couple. Yes, I’ve wanted to meet someone and fall in love. Hell, at this point, I would be happy just to have regular sex with pretty much anyone.”
The words rained down like shards of glass, slicing her heart with wounds so deep, they would never heal.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you were that unhappy.”
“It’s not your fault. We did this together. We’re both to blame. Somehow everything we had got lost.”
She nodded because her throat hurt too much for her to speak. Not just her throat—every part of her. She was shaking and sick and broken. Desperately broken.
“I can’t talk about this anymore,” she whispered. “I can’t. Maybe tomorrow, if that’s okay.”
“Not tomorrow,” he told her. “Take a few days, a few weeks. Like I said, nothing has to change, Mackenzie.”
“You’re wrong. Nothing can stay the same. We can’t unsee this. What we’ve said... There’s no going back. I just need some time to figure out what moving forward is going to look like.”
He nodded. “What can I do to help?”
She shook her head and got out of bed. For the first time in sixteen years, she was uncomfortable being naked in front of him. She quickly pulled on her clothes, feeling the seeping dampness between her thighs—proof of the sex.
This had been their last time, she thought grimly, as she put on her bra. They would never do it again. Pain and regret clutched at her, making her wish she’d let him bring her to orgasm. Not because she wanted the release but because it would have been something good they would have shared. It would have connected them, at least for a moment.
Afterward he would have smiled at her the way he always did—that totally male “I’m the man” smile. A combination of pride and happiness that came with knowing he’d pleased his partner. She wanted to see that smile