I reached up and wiped it away. I’d made this mess; it was only right I fix it.
“You’re right,” I whispered, staring straight ahead, “but I wish you weren’t.”
A soft knock on the door reminded me of the other issues going on in the house tonight. I reached over and squeezed Lana’s hand before the door opened and her mother stepped inside. Her hair was the same color as mine and my mother’s but that was as far as family resemblance went. Where my mother was thin and petite my aunt was heavy, big boned and wore a permanent scowl. She never seemed happy. Even before she’d caught her husband cheating on her. She hadn’t been here when we got home. Mom and Dad had also been missing. From the sounds coming down the hall everyone was back.
“Hey girls. Um, Lana, sweetheart, let’s go talk a little bit, okay.”
Lana’s hand squeezed mine this time before letting go and standing up. If my aunt would let me I’d go with her and hold her hand through the whole conversation. Lana had ended up being the friend I so desperately needed this past week. My door closed behind them and I laid back on my bed and whispered a little prayer for Lana. God knows she needs it with a mama like hers.
Beau: I’m sorry about tonight. I should have protected you.
He was taking the blame for something that was my fault. I had to find a way to stop this.
Me: You did nothing wrong. This was my decision. This summer I let this happen. I can’t change the way I feel but I can control how I handle things. I’m doing it all wrong.
Beau: What do you mean? What are you going to do?
I wasn’t sure yet. I had to think about that some more. Telling Beau I was breaking up with Sawyer wasn’t the kind of thing I needed to text him.
Me: I don’t know. I’m thinking about things.
I waited, but after a few minutes and no response, I lay the phone down beside me. If I could go back and change it all, would I?
Beau: I love you.
The warmth that flooded me answered my question for me. No. I’d never take back one moment of this summer I’d had with Beau. Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sleep.
I’m growing weary of goodbyes. Lana and her mother stood at our front door with their suitcases in hand. My aunt was headed back home to take my uncle to the cleaner’s in what would be an ugly divorce. Lana had a lot of drama and pain ahead of her. I’d begged her to just stay here with us. She could let her parents battle it out without her around but she said her mother needed her right now. In a way I understood but then I wondered if I had been in Lana’s shoes, would I be so kind? She was really the better person. I was the selfish brat.
“I’m going to miss you,” I said, wishing my voice didn’t sound so forlorn. Strange how you can think someone is ruining your life and they end up being your friend. I’d been so upset over having to share my space and listen to my aunt I hadn’t realized I had a friend right under my nose when I needed one the most. I still needed her.
“I’m going to miss you too. Keep me updated on your . . . life,” she said with a small lift to her eyebrows.
I nodded then leaned in to hug her. “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered back.
“I’m so glad you girls have bonded again after all these years. We’ll have to come back and visit again soon. After I get through the divorce and all. Maybe I can use my extra money to take the two of you on a cruise. Wouldn’t that be fun?” my aunt said. It took all my will power not to recoil at her suggestion. There was no way I was going on a trip with that crazy woman, much less a ship where it was impossible to run away from her. The smirk on Lana’s face had me forcing back a giggle. She knew good and well there was no way I was going on a trip with her mama.
“Alright y’all, we’ll be in touch,” my aunt said brightly and turned to head out to her Lincoln Town Car. I stood watching as my