and wonderful...” She laughed more. Then she cleared her throat. “I’ve been told...” Laughter caught her again. She coughed, cleared her throat and tried again. “I’ve always been told I should try harder. That I was a disappointment.”
Beau was clearly not amused. He didn’t join in the laughter. “Sounds like someone else should have been trying harder. You’re amazing.”
“That was pretty perfect, wasn’t it?” she asked. “It felt that way to me. I suspect it was you, though. I was just responding because I couldn’t not.” She smiled. “And that’s perfect, isn’t it?”
“Completely. But with a little practice, we’ll become slightly better than perfect. And I look forward to that.”
“It just kind of happened,” she said, snuggling close to him. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for months...”
“I wondered if I would be afraid, if I would be nervous and self-conscious, if it was too reckless. I’m never reckless, you know.”
“Was it any of those things?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I felt very natural. Very good. Very right.”
“Lauren, don’t panic. Just let me show you how important you are to me,” he said. “We’ve only nibbled around the edges of this subject but I know you don’t feel free to move on in your love life. I’ve tried to keep that in mind. God knows, I don’t want to scare you off. Coming off a painful marriage, the thought of diving into a new relationship must be terrifying...”
“Is it terrifying for you?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It didn’t just occur to me that I could fall in love with you. It’s been growing in me. The more we’ve gotten to know each other, the stronger my feelings are. I’ve never felt like this before—there is zero doubt in me. We’re going to be happy together.”
“I have to ask you something,” she said, her hand on his cheek. “Was there doubt the last time? With her?”
“There was,” he said. “I made excuses for her—she’d been through a lot. She’d been abandoned by the fathers of her sons. She’d been left to struggle. Why should she trust me? I cared about her. I had sympathy for her situation. I worried about the boys—they needed a constant and stable role model. I thought in time when she could see I could be trusted, we’d be all right. I don’t regret it, Lauren. I’m not sorry I took them on.”
“I know,” she said.
“And you? Did you ever have doubts?”
She laughed as if embarrassed. “Yes, I had doubts from the first and almost didn’t go through with it. Mrs. Delaney ordered everyone out of our room and then she dressed me down. She was so terrifying. I wanted to run for my life. Instead, I did exactly as she said. I dried my tears, put on fresh eye makeup and married her son. I spent over twenty years being ashamed of my lack of courage.”
“You had to be strong to get through those years as well as you did,” he said.
“Not the right kind of strong. My boss and new friend, Bea, she threw out an abusive man and raised four children alone, working and going to school with no one to help her—she’s the kind of strong I’d rather be.”
“I agree, that’s admirable.”
She smiled tenderly. “Oh Beau, I thought we’d be friends and wondered how I would manage to make you more. You’re so damn chivalrous.”
He laughed. “Am I?”
“Buying a coffee, waiting in the garden, staying with me after Brad attacked me, coming by the house with soft food...you are the most perfect gentleman. And I love it.”
“I just want to be with you,” he said. “That’s all. I can be patient, I can be discreet, but I’m ready.”
She grinned. “I think I’d like to have a boyfriend.”
“What will your daughters say?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “But I will remind them that they’ve brought a very entertaining variety of boyfriends to my house, some of them truly awful, and I’ve always been welcoming and courteous.”
“You were?” he asked.
“Damn straight,” she said. “If I wasn’t, they’d have married them before midnight! I might not be good at marriage, but I know how mothering works.”
He stroked her back. “I think you know how everything works...”
“I had a lot of doubts with Brad,” she said. “With you, I have none.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Beau’s life changed instantly. In a day. Maybe in an hour. When he told Lauren how deeply he cared for her she responded and the bond was sealed.