response.
14
Teddy looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. Women’s magazines and cute pictures of celebrities on gossip blogs had lied to her. This bob wasn’t easy. It wasn’t chic. It didn’t even look good. It was like the left side and the right side of her head were dressed up for costume parties with entirely different themes. The left was smooth and sleek, while the right side had a cowlick sticking out at an odd angle.
Whatever. Richard loved long hair, and honestly, screw him. She’d have to make this unflattering bob work somehow, damn it.
“Off to work!” Eleanor called.
Teddy poked her head out of the bathroom. “Have fun molding young minds! Don’t forget to grab one of the pumpkin muffins I made, but just because I thought we could all use muffins and not because I’m trying to prove my worth!”
“Got one. Thank you!” Eleanor said as the door shut behind her.
Kirsten and her boyfriend wandered out of the kitchen, the boyfriend holding a mixing bowl full of cereal. He’d stayed over last night, and Teddy had tried to ignore the noises. She made a mental note to invest in some headphones. Some heavy-duty noise-canceling headphones. Maybe the kind air traffic controllers wore.
While Teddy might have been uncomfortable with the volume of his lovemaking, she couldn’t be mad at his cereal consumption, because he’d brought his own box. He was courteous like that.
They all called him the Viking, because that was a nickname Kirsten had given him when they’d started dating (in the way that all women must give nicknames to potential suitors, as foretold by the prophecy in Sex and the City). But the nickname stuck, and although they all knew his real name was Dwayne, they still called him the Viking. Even Kirsten. Even, as Teddy unfortunately knew, during amorous moments.
“What are you guys up to today?” Teddy asked.
“Work,” the Viking said. He worked in construction (hence the muscular physique that partly earned him his nickname, along with his impressive hair).
“I’m working on some commissions,” Kirsten said with a smile, patting the Viking on the arm as he drained the milk from his cereal bowl. In addition to her own avant-garde pee-related work, Kirsten also did more conventional artwork at the request of many Columbus residents. She painted landscapes, animal portraits, whatever people asked for, and even though the ideas weren’t hers, she seemed genuinely happy while she did it. Teddy wondered wistfully what that must be like, to know that what you did not only made you happy but made other people happy, as well.
“Bye, babe,” Kirsten said as the Viking leaned in for a kiss so loud that Teddy considered putting her fingers in her ears. She felt like she was in a sound effects booth and someone was stirring a plate of fettuccine Alfredo.
As Kirsten shut the door behind him, Teddy decided to be bold and broach the topic of last night. It wasn’t that she wanted to. Did anyone ever really want to ask their friend to stop getting lucky quite so loudly? But the sheer awkwardness of the conversation was enough to scare her, and so she figured it counted for today’s item.
Do one thing every day that scares you: talk to your roommate about how her sex life is negatively impacting your sleep. Check!
“Hey, Kirsten?” Teddy’s voice came out with a squeak, so she coughed to clear her throat. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“What’s up?”
“Um, so, I’m not sure if you know this, and I’m not saying it’s a huge deal, but . . .” She paused, then said the rest of the words in a rush. “Icouldn’tsleeplastnightbecauseyouandtheVikingwerehavingsexsoloudly.”
“Oh, were we loud?” Kirsten asked, her eyebrows knit in concern. “I didn’t realize.” She looked contemplative for a moment. “I guess I don’t know my own strength.”
“I’m not sure strength has anything to do with it,” Teddy said gently.
“Oh, believe me, it does,” Kirsten said, and Teddy declined to follow up on that statement.
“Teddy!” Kirsten said, stepping closer and then poking Teddy on her cheek. “You’re blushing!”
Teddy covered her cheeks with her hands. “Am I?”
Kirsten placed her hand over her heart. “Were you uncomfortable talking to me about my vigorous sex life?”
“A little.”
Kirsten opened her mouth in shock. “Well, Teddy, we haven’t even drawn up the official plan for Teddy Time, and look at you. Already doing things that scare you. Kudos.”
Teddy smiled. “Thank you. And sorry for . . . you know.”
Kirsten shook her head dramatically. “No, no, no. From