he mumbles, distracting me from my wayward thoughts.
“That’s not how this works,” I breathe at the memory, willing the tremor building at the base of my spine to subside.
“Oh, but it is.” He chuckles darkly. “Even those who aren’t given the choice were chosen.”
“C’mon, Tinksley, just a little taste.” Bringing his pointer to his mouth, I watch him prick it with a quick fang. The tiniest crimson droplet appears enrapturing what remains of my coherent attention. I swear I can just barely smell it, taste it on my tongue already.
“One taste. Just one before you leave me,” he rasps.
I don’t know how to answer that, much less what to say. I can’t even nod, yet my lips seem to part on their own in some sick anticipation to please him.
A moment later there’s a thin smear of blood painted across my lower lip. “Lick,” he commands.
I hesitate, but it’s next to nothing. My tongue sweeps out, lapping up his essence in one fluid movement. The faintest tang blasts over my taste buds like a livewire, every inch of me awakening, desperate for—
More, a hushed voice rings out in my mind, just as Callan brings his finger to my lips again. “Now suck.” Another command, and this time around, I don’t hesitate.
Sealing my lips around the digit, I do exactly as he’s asked, hollowing my cheeks as I beckon his lifesource outward. The taste is still quite faint, but...
It tastes so good.
Good enough that a soft moan leaves me as I shut my eyes, savoring this moment, savoring him, just as he wanted.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, there’s that nagging reminder that I shouldn’t be doing this. If I lose control, I’ll complete the transition, but I can’t fucking stop.
Can’t. Stop.
That taste…it arises in the back of my throat, sparking that now familiar nagging feeling along with it. I swear I can actually taste it, swallowing deeply as I relish the decadent remembrance of Hook’s finger trapped between my lips.
I want more.
“I don’t think I can do it,” I admit, restoring my focus on him.
“You have my word.” He kisses my knuckles. “I’ll help—”
“No, no, not that. I mean dying; I don’t think I can do it, not under these terms.” Did I really just confess that? “In some ways, I feel backed into a corner, like the only logical thing to do is feed. And perhaps that’s weak minded of me because if I was so ready to die, it shouldn’t be this hard of a decision. But dying the first time was excruciating enough. God, I’m being so selfish right now.”
“You’re not selfish, nor weak minded.” He pulls me flush against him, winding my arms around his neck. “Everything you’re feeling, everything you’re thinking—it’s completely normal. The fear you experienced while you were free falling? That’ll be magnified to a harrowing degree if you let this thing eat you alive. Feeling your body erode like that.”
The tremor I was trying to withhold finally jars its way up my spine, littering every inch of my skin with goosebumps. I can’t even bear to think of what he’s described, how would I ever go through with it?
“I can’t do it, Callan, I just can’t. I know I can still choose not to feed, but how do I even know I’ll be at peace on the other side? What if all that awaits me is an endless reel of this; these festering, maddening thoughts, this pain? I don’t want to be in pain anymore. I want to be free of it all; the guilt, the grief. I want to feel alive again.”
Hook’s face lights up with that knee-wobbling smile and his body sags in relief. I literally feel every single ripple of his muscles as they relax against me, lively palms trailing up my figure to my face. “Ask and you shall receive. I’m right here, love—willing and ready.”
Willing and ready—three loaded little words that don’t slip past me. My already erratic heart beat goes into full hyperdrive, stomach flipping in...excitement? “If I do this, I need you to promise me something.” I shamelessly thread my fingers through the hairs tickling the back of his neck.
“Anything.”
“I need you to promise me you’ll help me find out why Peter wanted to leave.”
“Tinksley.” His stare widens, snapping my finger up to his lips.
“I just want answers. Closure. Nothing less, nothing more, I swear. Finding out he was here that whole time, that he did what he did...it shifted my mindset, a lot.