weather, and hold up obnoxious signs about riding him.
When I think about all of his options—this guy truly could have any girl on campus—I wonder if I’m making more of what’s between us than there is. If I’m setting myself up to crash and burn.
Just like freshman year.
Am I totally misreading him?
I munch on the churros I made before the game while I debate if I’m being foolish.
“I knew it!” Sienna pops out of the hallway like a ninja, and I scream and leap halfway off the couch like a Halloween cat.
“What the hell?” With my hand on my chest, I try to calm my racing heart. Thank God I finished swallowing that last bite or I would have choked.
She shushes me, because the baby is asleep in my bedroom, but holy shit, this girl just shaved off an entire year of my life.
“I knew you were watching replays of Rider’s game!” She howls with laughter.
“And this indiscretion demanded that you terrify me? Really?”
Thank the Lord, Poppy sleeps through our ruckus.
When we finally calm down, I give up the pretense and watch the game recap in full view of my roommate like an adult.
Once it’s over, Sienna reaches for the remote and clicks the mute button and glances at me with one eyebrow high on her forehead.
I sigh. “I guess… I guess I like him.”
A look of mock surprise crosses her face. “Shut up! I had no clue!”
“Smartass.” I grab the mostly empty bucket of popcorn off the coffee table and toss a few pieces at her. “That’s hard for me to admit because he really burned me freshman year.”
She eats the popcorn that lands in her lap, and the humor fades from her eyes. “When school started back in August, I got a good look at those incoming students, and I swear a few seemed like they came straight out of middle school, but you can’t find any of those little minnows in the senior class. Wanna know why?”
“Tell me, oh wise one.” For all of her laid-back California vibe, I’m learning that Sienna has a really grounded outlook on life.
“Because people change a lot in those three or four years. And while I’m betting Rider didn’t look like one of those babies when he was a freshman, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t undergone some massive growth spurts on the inside too.”
“But what’s that saying? ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’”
“I totally get that, but who can you trust if you look at everything through that paradigm? Not just lovers or boyfriends, how do you have any friends if you’re always afraid to take a chance?”
For a second, it’s hard to breathe.
“I… yeah.” I shake my head. “It’s hard for me to make friends, I guess.” My lips twist as I think about Ramona, and I wonder if things would be different with her if I had let her in more. She moved out this morning, a week earlier than that timeline she gave me. “Remember I told you how my brother and I didn’t grow up together? Our parents died when we were kids, and I moved around a lot after.”
That’s putting it mildly. My social worker told me I was unusual in that I had to switch foster parents so often, but I eventually learned not to try so hard when I arrived at a new house because I knew I wouldn’t stay long. Even now as an adult, I don’t always know how to let down my guard.
Sienna’s eyes fill with sympathy. “I’m not trying to be critical. I’d just hate for you to miss out on this thing with Rider because you’re scared of getting hurt. Could he hurt you? Absolutely. But you guys have off-the-charts chemistry, man. I feel like you two will combust if you don’t get together.”
I almost laugh. “It feels that way, honestly.”
“Has he at least apologized for whatever happened between you guys freshman year?”
“Yes. He’s apologized.” I fiddle with the button on my shirt. “Twice.”
“So that’s a good start, right?”
I nod.
“’Course, it’s probably weird he had a baby with another woman.” Then there’s that. “Has he said anything about who she is?” Sienna overheard Noxious talking about the mysterious baby mama the other day at the football house.
“No, and I’ve chickened out and haven’t asked.”
“I don’t blame you. Talk about awkward.” When I don’t add anything, she asks, “How’s he been since the last apology? I’m guessing it’s going well since you freaked over