Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,92

do. I decided to tell Sam first and made plans to meet him in the city for dinner Tuesday. But when the time came to head out, I procrastinated for several reasons. Telling my brother that I was gay should’ve been the sole contributor for my hesitancy, but missing Ricky more than I’d expected made me feel exposed. Stupid, I knew… one could argue being vulnerable went with the territory when coming out to loved ones.

Yet not having Ricky by my side unsettled me more than the actual task. Because of that, the urge to talk to him was fierce. I’d called after landing, and again after I got to my apartment, but we hadn’t spoken since. Regardless, it was time to come out to my brother.

When I pulled open the restaurant’s glass door, I was twenty minutes late. I walked toward the hostess, but spotting Sam had me bypassing her with a smile.

“Traffic?” he asked when I arrived at the table, where he waited and quickly stood for a hug.

“Yeah,” I lied. “Sorry.”

“No problem.” He tightened his grip before releasing me. “I was surprised you were back early. Did Becks drive you nuts?”

We both sat, and Sam drained the rest of his beer, making me jealous I didn’t have the same head start. “No, I just wanted to get back and get ready for the semester.”

He nodded. “Did you have fun?”

“I did.” A waiter came by, halting our conversation and worsening my nerves. After ordering a beer for me, and our steak dinners, I began to fill Sam in on Florida life to buy me some time. During my speech, I miraculously managed to forget my discomfort and focused on our family. But then, while showing him a video on my phone, the giant giraffe and elephant both came to life at the same time, causing Sam to go into hysterics.

“Holy fuck, are those the gifts from Ricky?”

“You know about them?”

“Hell yeah! Becks told Lydia and me all about that app on his phone. Hilarious! I fucking love that guy.” Not as much as me. “He’s quite the ballbuster,” Sam went on to say.

“That he is,” I droned.

Sensing my tone, Sam looked away from my phone. “What? Was he a prick to you again?”

“What do you mean again?” I barked.

His hands sprang up in response to my outburst. “The night of my rehearsal dinner, you kept mumbling how much you hated him… of course we all knew you had a few too many.” Fuck, I had no recollection of that. Sam continued to study me, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head. “Is that why you’re back early? Did Ricky drive you out of Florida?”

“Not exactly.” Subconsciously, I began picking at the label on my beer, considering the best way to say it. “We, um… actually got pretty close these past few months.” Sam’s hearty chuckle caught me off guard. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t exactly see you two meshing. He’s so uptight and you’re so…” Sam smirked before adding, “Complaisant.”

That wasn’t the first time I’d been accused of that. Actually, my entire life I’d been known as the peacemaker, the first to cave to avoid conflicts. It wasn’t insulting to me, but having Sam use uptight to describe Ricky pissed me off. He was far from uptight. Cautious, yes… and that had a lot to do with where we’d ended up. Cocky, arrogant, and frustratingly evasive? Absolutely. And yes, I had accused Ricky of having a stick up his ass, but claiming he was uptight was not a fair assessment.

“I saw a different side to him.” It figured that was the moment our steaks arrived. What I needed to say sat on the tip of my tongue, and with each second I’d been delayed, the words became a tad more bitter. Nine, maybe ten minutes ticked by at an excruciating pace as we both began eating, the conversation forgotten because our perfectly cooked filets, mounds of potatoes, and stalks of broccoli stole the focus.

Sam eventually moved on to other topics—Lydia, a client he finally nabbed at work, and even the stupid weather. And as we talked and ate our dinner, one that Ricky would’ve scoffed at compared to his beloved steak house, I decided I’d let my brother enjoy his food before broaching my sexuality.

Okay, so I chickened the fuck out. The entire meal went by, and then dessert, and now a farewell.

“Want to shoot hoops this weekend?” Sam asked, competing with the city noise surrounding us. Today was