on!’ Rigid and afraid, Orlando looked back at me like he’d seen a fin circling. I tried again. ‘You’re not living if you’re not totally freaked out!’ Something must have rung true in those words, and the boy who’d become a son to me broke into a run, splashing into the water as if he’d done it only yesterday. A smile burst out of him as I cheered him on with everything I had. What wonder had ever dazzled me more than this moment?”
Once Whitaker had finished, he waited eagerly for her response.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, working hard to hold back a grin. “It’s amazing. You’re really plugged in, aren’t you?”
He tossed the stack of papers onto the coffee table with frustration. “But there’s a ‘but’ coming. I hate ‘buts.’”
“It’s just—”
“Be gentle,” he interrupted. “I know I look like some sort of barbarian, but I’m really a softy. I’m the guy who dwells on reader reviews, good or bad. Anything less than telling me I’m a writing god can send me into a tailspin.”
“I was just trying to say . . . it’s hard to take you seriously with that mustache. Can we shave it off already? I can’t look at you without thinking you’re . . . I don’t know. You look like some guy I’ve come across while on a safari in Africa. You look like you belong in a Jeep chasing elephants. All you need is some aviators and one of those vests with a million pockets. Maybe a cigar and a camera with a telephoto lens.”
“Here we go again,” Whitaker said, picking up his glass of wine.
“I’m trying to help; that’s all. If you’re wondering why the women aren’t flocking to witty Whitaker, know that it’s probably that thing above your lip.”
“I can’t shave now or I’ll risk losing the muse. It’s almost a Nazaritic vow at this point. Shaving might be like Samson cutting off his hair. The muse might get upset. Besides, I don’t see how a man can experience a true midlife crisis without some sort of mustache or beard expression. It’s how we recognize each other when passing on the street. You know, a fraternal thing, like Deadheads and their tie-dye shirts. I feel like I’m in a brotherhood with David and Kevin all fighting to find our purpose.”
Claire raised a hand. “Let’s back up to the muse. For some reason, I don’t think she cares about your mustache. I mean . . . if she’s a she. I’ve never met a woman who actually likes a mustache.”
“Tell that to the thousands of women who’ve gushed over Tom Selleck since he first blessed us with his masterpiece of facial art.”
“Whitaker, I hate to tell you, but you are no Tom Selleck.”
He furrowed his brow. “I’ll try not to let your sharp insult damage my fragile ego. Of course, we all know Tom Selleck is in a class by himself. Just his short shorts alone set him apart.” Smiling, he turned even more to her and put his arm on the back of the sofa. “As far as the muse, I’ve never actually visualized her. She’s just kind of there. This celestial being that shoots out words.”
“Like an alien?”
“Hmm, I don’t know.”
They were looking right at each other.
“What makes you think she’s a woman?” Claire asked.
Whitaker gave a look like he’d eaten a bad oyster. “Oh God, I hope she’s not a man. You may have just paralyzed my creativity permanently.”
“Let’s hope not.”
Whitaker looked up to the ceiling, debating the possibility of a man fueling his words. “Nah, men don’t have the kind of words I like. Men are big ugly humorless brutes. They’re like airplane wine; they have no sense of place.” He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “No, my muse is a tall brunette. She may carry a sword and shield. She rides a white horse. And when she speaks, the wind blows and the trees rustle. The birds sing back to her in collective song. The clouds spread, and the sun beams through the blue sky.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “Your muse is Wonder Woman? Of course she is. You’re such a guy.”
Whitaker closed his eyes, clearly searching for an image. “Okay, yeah, basically Wonder Woman.” He put a finger to his chin. “But I like her in glasses like yours. A sword and shield and glasses.”
Claire dodged the compliment. “Now I know why you’re having a hard time getting into another relationship. I thought it