and perfect.
“I’ve never been more prepared. The team and I have gone over the menu and its prep at least a dozen times. Oh, and later, I’ve got Ryan sitting with the Biddies at the table next to you and the Tangle Valley folks. She’ll be good at controlling them. Who knew the Biddies were members here?”
“Oh, they’ll sign up for anything, those four. Professional joiners. Any chance to be invited to things is worthy of a quickly written check, which they still use. But I’ll be happy to look in on Ryan. Make sure she’s okay.” But Joey was immediately pulled into conversation with the mayor and her husband, which gave Gabriella a moment to take in the sights and sounds of the event. She took a deep breath and ordered herself to try to relax, enjoy herself. Take it all in.
The vineyard grounds were buzzing with wine club members, all present to get the preview bottles of the new vintage of chardonnay, Madison’s completion of Jack Wilder’s work. It would only be a few months before Madison’s work would stand on its own with the release of the dolcetto, and she knew Maddie was ready to spread her wings and establish herself fully at Tangle Valley.
An acoustic band played standards from the patio, and Gabriella beamed as she watched her kids, the culinary students, move from guest to guest with trays of small bites they’d prepared themselves in the truck, with a little bit of supervision from Gabriella. They even carried the trays the way she’d instructed them for optimum balance. In front of the tasting room, Loretta and several of the part-timers stood behind a table and distributed wine orders to the waiting line of guests. Some were picking up entire cases, while others were fine with the two-bottle score that came with their membership.
In the midst of the celebration and all the responsibility Gabriella had on her shoulders, she still longed for nothing more than to lay her eyes on Ryan and have her there by her side. She bopped her head to the music, sipped the crisp, refreshing wine, and scanned the faces of the guests for any glimpse of Ryan, who for some reason, was still nowhere to be found.
* * *
Dammit. Just fucking dammit. Ryan sat in her truck, in the parking lot nestled alongside the tasting room at Tangle Valley, paralyzed. She gripped her steering wheel and stared over at the cheerful-looking release party happening fifty yards away. She’d chosen an outfit she thought would suit the occasion, slim-fitting white pants and a red top her mother had always loved her in. Her hair was down, and she’d allowed a lazy curl. Yet she couldn’t seem to make herself exit the damn vehicle. Or find any air. She swallowed, and her heart thudded into overtime. She was out of her league with all of this. A kid playing grown-up and Gabriella would notice at any second and laughingly dismiss her. The thought crushed her.
“What’s going on in there?”
Ryan blinked, turned, and found Becca Crawford standing outside her open passenger-side window, looking in with a smile. “Just getting up my nerve, you know?”
Becca didn’t hesitate to jump into the truck without an invite, take a seat next to Ryan, and close the door. “I feel the same way before big events. I have to pep talk myself into them. Sometimes in the mirror. I’m not making that up.”
“I would never have guessed that about you. You’re always put together and confident.”
“Yeah, well, so are you.”
“Not in this moment.” She sighed. “Today matters a lot to her.” Ryan swallowed and stared at the leather steering wheel, the tiny spot that was worn through more than any other. She ran her thumb over it. “She should have all her people there with her.”
“And that’s not you?” Becca passed her a confused look.
She sighed. “Little bit of that syndrome happening. What’s it called again?”
Becca nodded. “Imposter syndrome. You think of yourself as an imposter with Gabriella.”
“I didn’t used to. But”—Ryan shook her head—“I feel like it’s turning into a charade. This is never going to work. We have amazing chemistry and this great friendship, but Gabriella and me? How?” She had no idea why she was laying all this on Becca Crawford, of all people, but she was here, and kind, and there wasn’t much Ryan could do to stop the words anyway. They fled her lips.
“I know why you’re saying that, but you don’t know