me. But I don’t think that’s what he means. “You watch me?”
He hangs his head, letting out a sigh. “I have cameras connected to the reliable generator. I’m… addicted.”
I hold my breath and let it out slowly, turning my face away from him. I need a minute to process this. I have too much to process, and this is just adding to it. He was…
He leans over and grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him.
It’s not even him, though. It’s that fucking mask.
“Do not think to judge me,” he snaps. “I will not have that. I am judge here, not you. Judge. Jury. Executioner. I watch who I want to watch.”
I try to force my head away from him, and when he doesn’t let up, I pull back and slide my chin right out of his hand. Maybe I could have processed being watched, but the way he’s reacting is giving me little time for rational thought.
My action only gives me a temporary reprieve. Within seconds his hand is back, and this time he takes my neck and forces me down on the bed. My hands wrap around his wrist.
“What are you thinking about?” He says it like an accusation.
“No one has ever asked me that,” I snap, mimicking him. “No one asks me anything, apparently.”
“Oh, my poor little Sapphire. It must be so awful for you. My heart bleeds,” he says, mocking me.
He has me pinned down on the bed, and everything about it angers me. He can’t even see how frustrating this is.
I just wanted a second to think.
Just a second to myself.
Something inside me snaps.
“Fuck you.” I spit the words at him, unable to control myself. “Seriously, take yourself to fuck.”
“I think I was just there. Shall we go again?”
This man infuriates me. He has an answer for everything. “I hate you.”
He laughs. “No, you don’t. And even if you do, your hatred is misplaced. I may appear lacking in sympathy, but I’m finding it hard to comprehend what could possibly be so awful about your situation. I treat you like a goddamn queen.”
A queen?
He is warped.
I’m laughing in anger now. Laughing. That’s the only thing left in me. “You are mad,” I tell him, cackling like I’m halfway to insanity myself. “You are truly delusional. I feel sorry for you.”
The last one was intended to hurt. It was unnecessary and spiteful, but I’m finding it hard to summon a fuck to give.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
I just gave him… I just gave him everything.
He might think he took it. Hell, there was a moment where I thought he took it. But in hindsight, he didn’t take. I gave him it freely. I gave him something I’d never given anyone.
And this is what it has resulted in.
Why the hell did I expect anything different?
“You can lie to yourself,” he says. “But you cannot lie to me, sweet girl. I watched you. I watched you mope around while you thought I was gone. I watched your head pop up when the door to your room opened, and I watched your little face drop when you realized it was Andrei and not me. It should be me who feels sorry for you, but unfortunately sympathy is not an emotion that registers. Look at what I’ve done to you,” he says, laughing cruelly.
It’s only then that I realize what he’s doing. He’s taking my spite and throwing it back in my face.
“Look at what I’ve turned you into.” He laughs again, and it hurts.
“A lost puppy, pining for the master who does nothing but kick it.”
“Stop it,” I beg him, my voice breaking.
“What you feel is not even real—as I’ve explained—and yet you play the part so convincingly.”
My eyes fill with tears, and I try desperately to keep them in. To hold it all together. “Stop it,” I whisper, trying to sniff them away.
“What does it feel like to be so powerless that you don’t even have control over your own emotions? Is that insanity, do you think? And yet you feel sorry for me! Such a warped sense of reality you have. Such a twisted little mind.”
“Please, Baron. Please stop it.”
He sighs and releases his hold on my neck, his fingers instantly turning gentle as he withdraws.
He lies back down and pulls me into him, wrapping an arm around me.
He’s still tugging.
Trying to get me closer.
Trying to press my body up against his.
I can’t fight the tears back anymore, but I can fight him.
I wanted