turn my head away just after Baron pulls the man’s head up to look at him. Then another shot, the sound of it cracking around the small room. I flinch as I hear the sound of the body dropping to the floor.
I’m trying to process what’s happening, but it’s like my mind won’t work properly. Everything feels under pressure, as if I’m cooking. As if I’m burning.
I’m glad they are dead. I’m grateful to be saved. I’m pleased he came back.
But he’s laughing.
Again.
As if none of this affects him.
Even Andrei urged him to think about it.
I want to cry. Shake. Maybe even throw up.
That’s what a good person would do, and I like to think I’m a good person.
But Celeste’s words ring in my ears. You can be good, or you can be great. You can’t be both.
I angle my body toward Baron and find him staring at me.
I try to be great.
I try to be what Baron would think is great.
“Where exactly do you suppose I will sleep tonight?”
19
Sapphire
He looks me up and down and throws his head back in a laugh.
It worked.
“Oh, sweet girl, I could kiss you right now. You make me wish I had indeed taken your eyes,” he replies playfully. “Come.”
He tucks the gun behind his back and holds out his hand.
Oh, hell. That fear of him has never gone away. In fact, seeing him tonight has only made it worse.
But I have missed him. Painfully so.
I walk on my knees across the bed, feeling limbs and wetness and death all over me. The second I reach for his hand, he grabs it and pulls me the rest of the way toward him.
Arms wrap around my body, strong and hard and clad in leather. He pulls me in tight and I breathe in his familiar smell, the one that fills me with both dread and comfort at the same time. It’s laced with blood, and I don’t know if that’s coming from him or me. I don’t really care at this moment.
He takes a half step away from me and pulls my head up to meet his. Then he lowers his own until his hard forehead rests on my flesh one.
“Did you miss me?” His voice is a low murmur, as deep as a caress.
“Yes. No. Maybe. Probably,” I answer.
I can almost imagine him smiling through the mask as he sways me in his arms. “I think I have somewhere for you to sleep tonight.”
The suggestion in his tone makes me even more breathless. He takes a step back and swoops me up with an arm behind my knees and another around my back.
He tells Andrei to fetch some men and get the room cleaned up.
Andrei lets out a sigh and shakes his head, a few joyless laughs escaping his mouth.
Baron doesn’t look like he cares in the slightest.
We leave the room and head up a set of stairs to the top level.
For a minute, I’m worried he’s taking me to the place where the shows happen, or the club.
I’m in no fit state to be on display tonight, to have to check my words and my emotions and play his games. Too much has happened for that, and all I want to do is lie down in a dark room and sleep. Sleep is the only way I can escape all the thoughts and emotions and the constant need to attempt to process everything.
Why he left.
Why he came back.
What Celeste told me.
All the things that have happened in my bedroom.
I can’t do it.
But it looks like that is not his intention. We continue on. Past the huge room with the ring in the middle. Past the club. Down a long corridor with red lightbulbs and more of those altar candles.
I hear noises coming from behind some of the doors. Animalistic and guttural. Both women and men. I know what the sounds are—I’ve heard them for as long as I can remember.
At the end of the corridor, there is a locked door which leads to another set of stairs. At the top of those stairs, he sets me down. It’s warm in here, despite the large size of the room, thanks to a huge lit fire on the far wall. It casts shadows everywhere and crackles rhythmically.
Baron stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders while I take in the surroundings.
“This is your room?”
It could only be his room.
It’s the space of a man who doesn’t quite know who he is or what he