the knot of guilt in her stomach twisting itself tighter. Ben wasn’t one to share unless she prised it out of him, and Millie closed up like a book every time she tried to talk to her, especially about the subject of sexual relationships.
‘You do know that Nicky’s into older men?’ Millie went on.
Emily held her breath, her mind immediately swinging to Jake.
‘Sorry to shatter your illusions,’ Millie sighed expansively, ‘but she’s lusting after the silver fox, according to Anna. I mean, I get the older man thing – they’re so much more mature than younger men.’
‘Shrewd conclusion, Einstein,’ Ben mumbled facetiously.
‘God knows what she sees in him, though. He’s so ancient, he’s practically decrepit. I’m surprised he can get it up. Viagra, I suppose.’
‘Pack it in, Mils. That’s gross,’ he muttered.
‘Poor Ben.’ Taking no notice, Millie emitted another theatrical sigh. ‘Spurned in love at the tender age of eighteen.’
‘Fuck off,’ Ben growled. ‘I’m not in love with anyone. It sucks.’
‘Right,’ Millie replied amusedly. ‘“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”’ She quoted Tennyson tauntingly at him as she headed for the door.
Stepping away, Emily ducked quickly into her own room. Closing the door, she leaned against it, a whirlpool of emotion churning inside her. Was it her imagination, or had Ben’s tone been bordering on aggressive? As for Millie’s Viagra comment, Emily didn’t know whether to be relieved or appalled. It couldn’t be true, of course. However much of a womaniser he was, surely Tom would never allow himself to become involved with someone as young as Nicky. But hadn’t Jake seen them together? More worryingly, on the subject of age and relationships, what was this ‘I get the older man thing’ Millie had come out with? Emily had guessed she was seeing someone. She was assuming now it was someone older. But how much older? She had to talk to her, and carefully. She needed to get her daughter on side, not alienate her. She needed to confide in her in the hope that Millie might feel safe to do the same. She had her whole future ahead of her. Emily didn’t want her involved in a damaging relationship, which she knew all too well she easily could be.
‘Mum?’ Millie rapped on the door, causing her to start. ‘Are we going soon? I’m starving.’
‘Yes. Won’t be long. I’m just touching up my make-up,’ Emily called, and headed for the en suite to wipe the telltale smudges of mascara from under her eyes. Finding there wasn’t a great deal else she could do to improve things, other than scrubbing her face and starting over, she went to the dressing table to reapply her lipstick. Surveying herself critically, she reached to untie her hair, which she’d worn up in the hope of looking less of a bedraggled mess. Fran had complimented her, saying she looked nice, but Emily doubted she did. Jake certainly hadn’t noticed that she’d made an effort. She felt like a fool for trying. Sighing, she raked her fingers through it, heaved out another despairing sigh, and then tied it haphazardly up again. Millie’s hair was just like hers, but she always managed to arrange it artistically. She’d ask her for some tips, Emily decided. They had been close once, sharing girly things. They’d lost their way somewhere along the line. Was that her fault too? In pushing Millie to be all that she could be, had she driven her away?
Emerging from her room and gathering from the sound of the TV downstairs that Millie was in the lounge, she headed for Ben’s room to hurry him up. Realising he was on the phone, she hesitated short of the door. ‘We’ll be downstairs when you’re ready, Ben,’ she called.
‘Right. One sec,’ he answered.
Emily sighed as she reached the hall only to realise she’d left her handbag upstairs. Turning around, she went back up again, and stopped dead on the landing.
‘Yeah, right, she’s gone back to her husband, hasn’t she, despite the fact that he’s an aggressive git?’ she heard Ben say. ‘Probably because he’s loaded. She’s not likely to look at me, is she?’
Natasha? It had to be. Rumour had it that Natasha had married Michael for his money. She’d gone back to him despite what had happened between them. Emily had wondered why. But then, though Michael might have to work for every penny he had, his assets in terms of the land and the farmhouse weren’t to be