but some people around here pay me in boxes of homemade biscuits.”
We both stared at the land for a while. It was lovely. Open and vast and, unlike most land here, it had a massive tree in the middle of it. We didn’t say a word to each other for a while as we looked at it together. I felt like I was sharing a moment with Samirah, and it made me feel closer to her. And then I felt like I needed to do something. I slipped my hand over her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She immediately turned and smiled at me.
“Thanks,” she said.
I was about to ask for what, when she pulled off and drove away.
CHAPTER 47
The sofa at Samirah’s wasn’t the most comfortable. It was old and small. But this was the only place I could go, and I was grateful for that. I lay there looking up at the ceiling. Harun was sitting on the floor watching me. He didn’t seem to be settling down for the night. He seemed restless, with his eye glued to me.
“What?” I leaned forward and glared at him. “Why does it always look like you’re concocting some devious plan in that brain of yours?” We had a little stare-off, but I gave up when I realized that he wasn’t going to be answering me. I flopped back down and went straight back to the ceiling.
Boredom and agitation wracked my body, and I felt that same sense of total loneliness that I’d experienced when I’d first arrived. Perhaps it hadn’t really gone away. Perhaps it had been here the entire time, sometimes closer to the surface, sometimes further. Right now, it was close. Very.
For some reason, crashing on someone’s sofa made me feel alone and unwanted in a different kind of way. And, on top of that, God, it was so hot tonight. I got up, walked over to the big window and opened it. The curtain flapped about in the breeze, and I pinned it back then looked out over the street. It was dark and quiet. It was still strange to be in a place so quiet. But the breeze from the open window was welcoming. I walked back to the sofa and reached into my bag for my phone. Despite being so terrified of it a few hours ago, my hand now seemed to be aching for it. Perhaps I was just aching for something familiar to take the edge off.
I lifted it to my eyes and ran my thumb across the screen, something in me loosening a little. The light washed over me and I took a deep breath, as if trying to inhale its photons. I turned the phone around in my hands and looked at it. This thing contained my entire life. Every video I’d made, social post, Tweet, contact, message, everything that had happened to me in the last several years was contained in this small thing that fitted into my hand. It was like a box of memories and even if it didn’t work, it still felt like one of my most prized possessions. The thing I would save in a fire.
Harun walked over to me and rested his big head on my stomach. The action totally melted my heart. It was as if he knew there was a knot of anxiety inside me and I needed help. I reached down and patted him on the head; he looked up at me with his ugly yellow eye. I sighed.
“You are the reason we’re sleeping here, you know that?” I scratched his head, which made his back leg shake and the ornaments on top of the shelves rattle. He moved his head onto my lap even more, as if demanding more tickles. I obliged, but every time I stopped, he pushed my hand with his nose, as if he wanted me to use both hands. I put my phone down on the table next to me and scratched his head with both hands. But as I did, Harun made a sudden jerky move. I looked at him and gasped. He had pulled away and now had my phone in his mouth.
“What are you doing?” I jumped to my feet as Harun started reversing. One paw at a time.
“Drop it!” I commanded. But he didn’t budge. I shook my head. “Please don’t swallow it. That thing will definitely get stuck and there is no way it’s coming out the other side!” He