whole thing with the cryopod… none of this is your fault, Varia. You know that. Don’t you? If anything, you got us here.”
Looking away from her hands, she gives me a sad smile.
“That’s not true. The Kilgari—”
“Never mind the Kilgari,” I cut her short. “If it weren’t for you, we would’ve never survived that cargo hold.” Laying my hand on top of hers, I look into her eyes and smile. “Trust me. I was there.”
“You’re a good friend, Lamira.”
“A good friend?” I repeat in a purposefully high-pitched, nasal tone. “Girl don’t give me that crap. I’m the best friend.” Finally, a genuine smile spreads across her lips. “Now, what do you say we go find Ilya? She can take a look at the pod, and maybe she’ll be able to figure out why it short-circuited.”
“Now that’s a good idea,” she says, jumping up to her feet so fast I’d think she was sitting on top of coiled springs. That’s the Varia I know. We’re already on our way to the doors when they slide open to reveal a tall Kilgari, his horns almost touching the doorway. He’s wearing a black shirt that delineates the contour of his hard pectorals almost too perfectly, and he has a handgun tucked into his large soldier’s belt.
It takes me a second before I realize I’m once again staring at Grantian, but once I do, my heart does a somersault inside my chest. I don’t know what it is about this Kilgari, but his presence has a real effect on my body.
“Solair has requested your presence back on the bridge,” he says, all of his attention on Varia.
She arches her eyebrows, surprised. “He could have signaled on my comm.”
He smiles sardonically. “You left it with him.”
“Now why would I do that?” She smiles, as if caught.
“Take care of these. Will you?” she asks me as she hands me the blankets she’s holding. A thin conspiratorial smile takes over her lips, and then she gives me a wink. Just like I did a few weeks back, right when I saw her sneak out of the dining room with Solair. She must have noticed the electricity crackling under my skin whenever I’m in the same room as Grantian. Without saying anything else, she squeezes herself past him and punches the panel on her way out, closing the door behind her.
For a moment, neither of us say a thing. We just stand there, staring at each other like two complete idiots. The blankets in my arms make me feel even more ridiculous.
Clearing his throat, Grantian takes one step forward.
“So, uh, is Varia feeling better?” he finally asks, and I can’t help but notice some uncertainty in his deep voice. Even as a veteran of a thousand battles and an ex-member of the fabled Hael Hounds, he sure as hell doesn’t look comfortable right now.
Unfortunately, the same is true of me. I’ve never had to deal with such a magnetic pull before, and I’m at a loss on what I should do. Part of me wants to jump him, but I figure that wouldn’t be the polite thing to do.
“I think so, yeah,” I reply. Instead of coming out with the perfect feminine cadence, my words come out as a frog-like croak. I clear my throat, warm blood rushing to my cheeks, and only then do I regain my normal voice. “She has a lot on her mind, you know? What happened in the medbay… she feels responsible for that woman.”
“I see.” Nodding slightly, he keeps looking at me as if he expected me to keep talking. Apparently, conversation isn’t his strong suit. I bite on the corner of my bottom lip nervously, wondering what I should say to keep the conversation going, when he suddenly decides to continue. “What about you? How are you holding up?”
His question feels like a gut punch.
I’m always so preoccupied with Varia, doing whatever little things I can to ease her burden, that I’ve never stopped to think about how I was holding up. In a way, I gave Varia all of my focus just so I didn’t have to look inward and face the monsters hiding in the corners of my mind.
“Lamira?” he asks once more. “Are you alright?”
I open my mouth to say something but just end up just closing it again. I have no idea how to answer his question. It’s a simple one, but I’ve never stopped to think of an answer to it. Pinching the bridge of my