“And I would like it to continue to remain that way.”
“My lips are sealed, Grantian. You know I’m not one for gossip.”
“As you will.” I clear my throat. “I was wondering… when did you first realize Varia was your fated mate, and how did you come to such a realization?”
“Oh.” Solair seems surprised. I guess he hadn’t been expecting this question. “I see. Well, old friend, I wish I could tell you something concrete, but it was more like a… a feeling. Intuition. Like when you’re charting a superluminal jump and the computer gives you two options of equal time, but you pick one over the other because it just feels right.” He laughs helplessly and shrugs. “As I said, I wish I could be more specific, but it’s been a long time since I even heard of another Kilgari finding his mate outside the Queen, let alone met one.”
“I see. So, it’s something akin to instinct?”
Solair leans back in his chair and strokes his chin thoughtfully. “I’d say that’s a fair comparison.” His lips part in a sudden grin. “Is there a member of the Frontier crew you’ve felt… compelled toward?”
“I—yes, there is.” Why is it suddenly so hot in here? On a whim I decide not to mention Lamira by name, ostensibly to protect her but probably because it’s somehow less embarrassing that way. “I find her presence to be… intoxicating. It’s difficult to concentrate, and I find myself… irritated… that I don’t know how to proceed. It’s maddening.”
Solair nods, his lips drawn thin and tight across his face. “I know the sensation all too well.”
“Then how in the Precursors’ name did you manage to deal with it?” I hang my head between my hands and sigh. “When I close my eyes, she’s all I can see. Everywhere I go in the ship, if I catch a whiff of her scent suddenly, I forget where I am and what I’m doing. This is not a sensation I am used to, Solair. I am no mincing schoolboy wet behind the horns. I am a warrior, a first mate, and your staunchest ally. How can I be any of these things when my thoughts and heart are so very twisted?”
Solair purses his lips and takes a long drink from his wine glass before speaking. “Grantian, the best advice I can possibly give you is to be patient.”
“Patient?” I laugh without mirth, only helplessness. “How can I be patient at a time like this? It feels like I’ve been drinking overripe indigoberry wine with a sand mite jammed up both nostrils. And you want me to continue to exist this way?”
“I do. And I’m not asking you to do anything I don’t think you’re capable of.” Solair smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You’re one hell of a first mate, Grantian, and more than that, one of my best friends.”
“Thank you, Solair.”
“Of course. I know that ‘wait and see’ makes for frustrating advice to follow, but it really is the best thing for someone in your situation. Remember, the whole concept of fated mates is fate—if you’re supposed to be with this woman, if she is your fated mate, the universe will sort of, you know, gently nudge you together.”
“Like it did for you and Varia?”
He nods, a slight smile on his lips. “I know how hard it is to be patient, Grantian. Believe me. My first instinct was to try and bed Varia immediately, but if I had I might have screwed up my chances with her.”
I clench my teeth and struggle to control my volume. “But I need her now, Solair.”
“I know, but you can’t rush this. You’ll just have to wait for things to happen naturally.”
He’s right, of course. I can recognize the wisdom in what he says even if it’s not what I want to hear. Partly out of frustration and wanting to change the subject, but also partly because it is an important matter, I decide to bring up the shocking intel Lamira stumbled upon in the Kyvos market.
“What are we going to do if Fiona comes back with a hit on Tartus?” I lean back in my seat, the metal squealing in protest under my heavy weight. “Is it even safe to investigate?”
“I don’t know if it’s safe or not.” Solair purses his lips, and his gaze grows distant. “We still don’t have any tangible evidence that the Solace mentioned on Kyvos in the market is the same Solace to which our cryopod