rubs the back of his neck. “Can we change the subject, please?”
Melanie blushes. “Yeah, sure. In fact … ” She takes Jamie’s hand. “Wanna play pool, Jamie?” She nods toward the poolroom in the back.
Jamie and Blake share another glance before Jamie nods ever-so-slightly. “Okay,” he says.
“Mmmm … bathroom first?” Melanie says to me, which I guess is my cue to accompany her.
The guys step out of the booth to let us pass, and Melanie and I head to the restroom.
“Sorry,” she tells me as we go inside. “I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. My natural instinct is apparently to blab incessantly.”
I smile. “It’s okay. I guess you have to feel your way along. Hey, Mel?”
She glances at me as the door closes behind us. “Yeah?”
“Why do you think Jamie is so hostile to Blake?”
She leans into the mirror over the sink to touch up her lipstick. “I dunno, but I see now what you’re talking about. It’s a whole new vibe for them. They used to be total goofballs … very light-hearted. I guess the drowning really did a number on them.”
I shake my head. “But why would Jamie be mad at Blake?”
Melanie shrugs, pressing her lips together and tossing her lipstick tube back in her purse. “I don’t know that he’s mad … more like on edge.”
“That’s what Blake said,” I say. “That Jamie’s been really edgy since the tragedy. Understandable, I guess … ”
Melanie spins on a heel to face me. “Well, good news: I intend to do everything in my power to help Jamie relax. God, he’s hot. Think it’s premature to post pictures of us together on Facebook?”
“Um … ”
“Too late. I already did. Don’t you think he’s cute?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“There’s something so … vulnerable about Jamie. I think I’m in lust.”
I squeeze my arms around my chest. This is all so new to me, since I always steered clear of banal chatter about alpha males and Facebook photos. With Sawyer as my best friend, I enjoyed a comfortable and, okay, somewhat condescension-filled distance from the angst and drama of high school, even when I was dating someone. Now I feel I’ve been thrust into a leading role. A little exhilarating, I guess—Blake is definitely a hottie—but I can’t help feeling like I’m playing a part. Add a poor girl’s drowning as the backdrop, along with my own raw grief, and life has never felt more surreal.
“Well,” Melanie says, “I’m outie. Will you tell Jamie I’ll be waiting at the pool table?”
“Sure.”
As she leaves, I glance at my own image in the mirror. You’re the most together girl I know —Uncle Mark’s words ring in my head. If only he knew how much clatter was in my head.
I exhale through puffed-out cheeks, open the bathroom door, and head back for our table. As I get close, I hear Blake talking in a tight voice to Jamie: “Just cut it out, for god’s sake.”
I can’t hear Jamie’s response, but Blake replies, “Don’t go there. Just change the subject. You’ve got to stop letting … ”
Jamie spots me first, and Blake’s gaze follows his.
I finger the rings under my shirt. “Melanie’s waiting for you at the pool table,” I say.
Jamie blushes, nods, and walks away. For some reason, I take his seat rather than scooting back in next to Blake in the booth.
“That sounded kind of intense,” I say, figuring it would be more awkward to ignore the tension than to point out the obvious.
Blake nods, his expression dark and brooding. “I keep telling him we have to move beyond the drowning,” he says. “Just because other people bring it up doesn’t mean we have to talk about it. It just keeps him really stirred up.”
I lean into the table. “I don’t get why he acts mad at you,” I say.
Blake considers my words, then shakes his head bitterly. “I think he feels like I didn’t do enough to help her.”
I gasp a little. “That’s terrible. How dare he make you feel like that.”
Blake shrugs. “Why shouldn’t he feel that way? I do.”
I reach across the table for his hand, and he lets me hold it. “Don’t do that to yourself,” I say in a hushed voice. “Don’t beat yourself up with guilt.”
Blake’s chin quavers and his blue eyes fill with tears.
“Oh, Blake … ”
“Jamie was right there,” he says in a trembling voice. “He knows what happened. There were so many things I did wrong. Why did I let her take a swim