be on TV.
What would happen if he touched her?
Touch. Oh yes, touching. He remembered that. The closeness, the intimacy. He wanted to touch and be touched, to touch her, let’s face it, to touch Tess, to hold her. Yet he was scared to because if she was real that would mean that she was a fake, a liar, a deceiver. Wouldn’t it? But then if she wasn’t that, if she was that…that…that impossible thing, what would happen to her? Would she survive it? Would she survive the touch? Might she just go?
He turned off the water, suddenly angry. If he kept this up he would definitely go mad. He had to calm down, keep cool, ease his nerves.
Hi sighed and towelled himself dry and put on his dressing gown and went into the lounge. At the door he hesitated, hand on handle. Decision time; was she real or just something that existed in his mind last night?
In his mind, he decided, and opened the door.
The lounge was empty. So was the kitchen.
Dan sighed again, very deeply. Was that it then? Was he OK now?
If he was, why did he feel so empty then?
Well first things first; coffee. He badly needed that early morning fix. He headed into the kitchen.
The espresso pot was on the ring. Puzzled, he picked it up. It was heavy, full of water and charged with coffee. Only the top was loose and needed screwing on properly.
‘Can’t you get a proper machine?’
Tess’s voice close to his ear made him jump and almost drop the pot.
‘One with a button I could just press? Do you know how long it’s taken me to get this far?’
She was leant against the kitchen wall, regarding him with that shy but amused expression he was getting used to.
‘Morning,’ he said, trying to recover and screwing the top firmly shut and turning the ring on, ‘You did this for me?’
‘Well I know you need your coffee in the morning,’ she said, turning to head into the lounge, ‘after your shower.’
Had he seen that? That amused, slightly guilty smile? When he was on his own he didn’t bother shutting the shower door, often wandering around the flat naked. Had she? Would he have in the same circumstances?
Well yes, of course he would have, he told himself, deciding that lying to himself was not wise considering all the rest of the tricks his mind was playing. So it was reasonable that his imaginary girlfriend would take a peek.
Whilst the coffee finished Dan made himself some toast.
‘Er…do you eat?’ he called through to the lounge, then kicked himself mentally. That was probably an insensitive thing to ask.
‘Apparently not,’ she said, ‘Nor drink. I guess that makes me the ultimate cheap date!’
Dan laughed and shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t believe this girl. He thought he had coping mechanisms but this? Amazing.
But then again she wasn’t real was she? She was just in his mind. So it was his mind that was amazing? Well hardly. Or if she was real then she was a fake, the ultimate actress.
‘Oh talking about dates,’ she called, ‘You have a text.’
Dan wandered through with his mug of coffee and munching his toast. His phone was on the table.
‘I haven’t read it.’ Tess was at the window again, looking down into the car park. It seemed to be her “thoughtful” place.
Dan picked up the phone. The text was from Jenny: ‘I’m really sorry about yesterday, and also about Monday too. I can be stupid at times. Please can you give me another chance? I think we could be really good for each other. Jen xxx’
It had been sent just after 6 am.
Well, now what, he thought. The tone was very different from anything else he had got from her and the fact that it was sent so early suggested that she was thinking about him an awful lot.
He pulled a face. That was more than he was doing. He had not thought about her once since last night. He had spent all of his time thinking about someone else.
He put the phone down on the table and took his plate back through to the kitchen.
‘Is she OK?’ Tess asked.
Dan refreshed his coffee and carried it through to the lounge.
‘Yes, she’s fine,’ he said, ‘I should go and get dressed,’ he added, wanting to change the subject.
‘Aren’t you going to reply to her?’
Dan looked uncertainly at the phone.
‘Look don’t mind me,’ she said, ‘I can hardly interfere with your life can I?