this hurt less. “This isn’t a good thing, Az.”
“Why not?” The ache in his voice was painful to hear. “I think I love her, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to. I know it puts her in danger, but I can’t lose her. She makes me happy.”
Gabriel managed a smile. “I know.” He hesitated, not wanting to set Az off again.
“Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?” Az asked. “To find a Sider that hadn’t gone through the change yet?”
Gabriel followed his lead, changing the subject. “Well, yes. But not Eden. I don’t want her to be a Sider at all.” He yanked his hand through his hair, the blond curls springing back into place. “They’re cursed.”
“You’re sure there’s no way to stop it?” Az asked. He turned, searching the boardwalk above for Eden.
“I don’t think so.” Gabriel rubbed his temples. The throbbing there was getting worse by the second. “What are we gonna do? We can’t do this by ourselves. The Bound don’t know about the Siders, so I can’t consult Upstairs.”
“Kristen?”
Gabriel’s mouth opened, a dozen protests clustering before he closed it. The idea wasn’t entirely bad. Still, Az’s reply had been more question than answer, and with good reason. Kristen was one of the first Suiciders. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t help; she owed him more favors than Az would ever know. The problem was, well, it was Kristen. Worse, she was the best option.
“I’ll head to the Bronx tomorrow. See what she says.”
CHAPTER 4
Az opened the door to the hotel room. One glance at Eden as she entered and his expression shifted to sympathy.
“No license?”
“My mom forgot the fucking appointment.” She caught his hand as she passed, both of them plopping down on the bed. “Then we finally got there and I didn’t even get to take the test!” Eden’s shoulders slumped. “My Social Security number wasn’t in the system. They couldn’t pull up my file.”
She’s already disappearing, he thought, trying to keep his emotions under control. So far it’d been easy to hide his eyes. He knew they’d be a paler blue today, but doubted she’d notice. He moved behind her on the bed just in case, rubbing her shoulders. “You can go back when they figure it out, right? That’s not so bad.”
She’d never get her license. It was such a small thing, yet meant so much to her. He leaned over her shoulder, kissing her neck. So many things she’d be missing out on. But she’ll have me, he reminded himself. “And I’m within walking distance.”
“True.” She closed her eyes, leaning into him. “It’s just, I know you and Gabe are only here for the summer. I wanna be able to come see you in New York.”
He sensed her hesitation, draped his arms over her shoulders, and hugged her. They hadn’t talked about what would happen when summer ended. He murmured her name, ran a hand down her cheek. “We’ll get you to New York safe. I promise.”
He pressed his lips together before he gave away too much, but she only nodded, breaking into a smile. How many more did she have before the depression took over, stripped them away from her? Would she be the same when she became a Sider?
Would she still love him?
“You’re staring at me,” she said. He didn’t answer, pulling her with him as he leaned back on the bed. Everything about her felt numbered. He kissed her hard, his lips greedy. He wanted her, the need hitting him in a rush. Wanted her now, while she was mortal.
His lips wandered down her neck, across her collarbone, her breath coming faster as he followed the curve of her tank top down. Her fingers grabbed suddenly at the bottom of his shirt, lifting. He rolled onto his back, stifling a groan, knowing he’d killed the moment. Again.
“Tease.” She smacked his chest. The playfulness dropped from her tone. “Why do you always pull away?” Eden asked.
He moved carefully, adjusting until he leaned against the headboard.
“You’re right,” he said. His fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt. He could tell her. Explain. “I do pull away.”
“Are we going too fast?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It’s not that at all, trust me.” The bed creaked as she crawled closer, laying her head on his chest. His arm curled around her.
“Then what is it?” she whispered.
He tipped her head up, stole another kiss. “It’s not you.”
“Jesus, I hate it when you pull this shit.” She made for the edge of the bed, but he grabbed her