my lack of Russian, so I stuffed some toilet paper into my bra. The cleavage got better, but I still wasn’t anywhere near Lula cleavage. I walked around a little to make sure the toilet paper didn’t rustle or shift in place, and then I shoved in some more. I was now bulging out of my bra, straining the fabric on my silky shirt, and there was no way I could button my jacket.
I jumped up and down to make sure I wouldn’t unexpectedly have a wardrobe malfunction. I jiggled a little, and my nipples didn’t pop out of my bra, so I figured I was good to go. I gunked up my eyes with a lot more mascara, added some eyeliner, and applied a fresh coat of blood red lipstick. I looked at myself in the full-length ladies’ room mirror and worried that I still might not be compensating enough for my lack of language skills, so I pulled the scrunchie off my ponytail. Whoosh, my hair instantly expanded. I worked at it with water and hairspray until the natural curls were back. I now had a lot of hair, and a lot of it was frizz. This is why I usually wear a ponytail. Still, I thought it might be sexy, if you like the big frizzy-hair look. I mean, you see it in Vogue all the time, right?
I went back to the full-length mirror and took another look. Yikes! Good thing my mother wasn’t here or I’d be grounded. I might have overdone the toilet-paper thing.
Ranger called my cellphone. “Babe,” he said, “you’ve been in there a long time. Is everything okay?”
“Yep. It’s peachy.”
I hurried out of the ladies’ room, took a deep breath, and set out across the room with what I hoped was a confident stride. Stephanie Plum, cunning sexpot, about to embark on a dangerous mission.
“What do you think?” I asked Ranger when I reached the high-top.
“Babe, you don’t want to know what I’m thinking.”
I actually had a pretty good idea what he was thinking, since his pupils were totally dilated. Like maybe we should forget about the two Russians at the bar and get a room. And now that I was slutted up and getting into the role, I was having similar thoughts. Problem was, undressing was going to be awkward.
“You do realize that I have half a roll of toilet paper stuffed into my bra?”
“I wouldn’t share that with the men at the bar,” Ranger said. He gave me a tiny earbud. “You can stay connected to me with this.”
“Will you be able to hear what I’m saying?”
“Yes.”
I stuck the earbud in my ear and sashayed over to the bar. I took the barstool next to one of the Russians and crossed my legs, letting my skirt ride up to a couple inches below my doo-dah, and asked the bartender for a champagne cocktail.
Conversation stopped, and both men looked my way. The man next to me smiled wide, displaying a gold-capped molar. He said something in Russian, and I did a palms-up display of I no speak that language. I accompanied the palms-up with a giggle, and I jiggled around a little. It was like airhead bimbo–meets–ADHD Pomeranian.
“My name Leo Stolchi,” he said. Heavy accent. “I sees you do not speak Russian.”
“Honey, I have enough problems with English.”
This got a big laugh, and his eyes tracked down to my boobs and from there went on to my crotch, which was demurely hidden by a small amount of black skirt fabric.
“You are very pretty,” he said.
“Well, thank you,” I said. “Aren’t you sweet.”
My drink arrived, and Leo told the bartender to put it on his bill.
“And generous,” I said.
Leo looked unsure of “generous.”
“What is ‘generous’?” he asked.
“It’s like … rich. You must be rich.”
The smile was back. “Yes! Very, very rich.”
“How did you make all your money?”
“Vodka,” he said. “I makes the best.”
I glanced over at Ranger and smiled. Jackpot.
“Do you know that man?” Leo asked.
“He’s a friend of the family,” I said.
“He look like a bad man.”
“He has his moments.”
No sound came over the earbud from Ranger, but I thought I sensed him smile.
“Are you staying at this hotel?” I asked Leo.
“Yes. It close to the consulate building where will take place the meetings. There is party soon.”
“I love parties,” I said.
“This a good one. They serving my vodka.” He looked at his watch. “I should be going.”
Damn! I was losing him. I put my hand on his leg. “That’s too bad.